From the film’s IMDB.com page citation:
“Ray Wise and Sonya Smith star as washed-up action hero Kommander II and struggling filmmaker Angela LaSalle in this dark and twisted comedy. They’re filming ‘Cyxork 7,’ latest sequel in a haggard sci-fi franchise – this time shooting at the epicenter of a predicted cataclysmic earthquake. Free special effects! Risking their lives for the buzz, they’re desperate to grab Hollywood’s attention. That is: if they will survive.”
Well, as I pride myself on being perfectly honest, I made it thirty minutes into Cyxork 7 before I reached for the remote and began fast-forwarding. That’s because so very little of what I sat through in that 30 minutes really interested me. Or was compelling. Or made sense. It isn’t that Cyxork 7 is a bad film; rather, I see it as it tries to capitalize on the Troma label, which it most definitely did not do.
Ray Wise stars as an aging film veteran who’s enjoyed a lucrative career headlining a low-budget SciFi franchise. Unfortunately – as can happen in our fickle society – the enterprise has fallen on hard times, and they’ve had to pick up a veritable piece of fan fiction in order to have a story to make a seventh chapter … and you know what they say about fan fiction! That, and the studio decides to bring in an all-new female direction – one who has absolutely no interest or respect for the Cyxork franchise. All of this spells certain doom … and, yes, I sat through thirty minutes of doom, which was as much as I could take.
To its credit, Cyxork 7 tries to be something more than just a film – it does carry the Troma label, after all – and while the snippets featuring two foul-mouthed, subversive California talking heads are interesting, they’re just so woefully out-of-place and funny at the fourth-grade potty humor level that I didn’t appreciate them in the slightest. I suspect there might be an audience for this … somewhere … it just wasn’t for me even in the most remote possibilities.
Cyxork 7 (2006) was produced by Gamma Gulch Productions, LLC. (FYI: this is their only production of record, so let that speak for itself.) DVD distribution is being handled by the good people at Troma Entertainment. As for the technical specifications? Meh. It’s a cheaply produced independent bit of schlock, and it looks and sounds about as good as needed to whatever audience it might earn.
(Not Really) Recommended.
Hey, I can appreciate a low-budget Troma as much as the next film fanatic, but this? This just isn’t Troma. I’ve watched some Troma – some good and some bad – and this just wasn’t it so far as I’m concerned. At least, it isn’t the level of quality I’d attach to any Troma I know and love. It’s uninteresting. It’s poorly conceived. It’s even more poorly assembled. Plus, there’s just no compelling reason to finish it. That isn’t Troma. That’s garbage.