​In the great 1980’s, the Apocalypse was big business … so far as the box office was concerned.
 
Though some have argued otherwise, I’ve honestly always chocked up interest in the end of the world as we know it based on the popularity of Australia’s Mad Max (1979) and its vastly better sequel Mad Max 2: The Road Warrior (1981).  The films sprang (in part) from the fertile imagination of director George Miller – along with screenwriting contributions from James McCausland and Byron Kennedy on the first film as well as Terry Hayes and Brian Hannant on the second.  A young Mel Gibson truly emerged as a marquee star in the flicks, playing a cop-turned-vigilante in a world down under sent quickly into decline as a result of our planet slipping into the day of collective reckoning following a major global war.  Both films were rewarded with critical and commercial acclaim, so – in the era where imitation is the sincerest form of flattery possible – filmmakers everywhere sought to tap into such doom and gloom with hopes of reaping similar box office receipts.
 
As tends to happen as a consequence of films being made quickly and only in pursuit of the mighty dollar, many of these lesser Mad Maxes were not only incredibly inferior but also monumentally forgettable.  Little attention was paid to plot, character, and circumstances – perhaps the three greatest attributes that Miller and his crew got right – and sanity was sacrificed at the altar of creative costuming, hard-boiled dialogue, and decked-out muscle cars.  Rushed through production, these features were either unceremoniously dumped into theaters or deposited straight to home video.  If this is what the audiences wanted, then studios and independent filmmakers sought to deliver the goods as soon as was humanly possible, all in hopes of capitalizing on the latest trend at the cineplex.
 
One of the biggest purveyors of – ahem – cheap imitation was Italian B-Movie auteur Enzo G. Castellari.
 
In fact, Castellari dipped so deeply into this well that he bathed in the magical waters not once, not twice, but an incredible three times.  His 1990: The Bronx Warriors (1982) depicted a devasted New York City overrun with gangs emerging on the cusp of Armageddon.  In 1983, he went back (thematically) to the Big Apple for Escape From The Bronx which pitted the last survivors against extermination squads.  In between those two releases, the writer/director completed Warriors Of The Wasteland (1983) which some have called the best of the trio.  (Mind you: even if it is the best, that still isn’t saying much!)  In it, a pair of nomads find that there’s safety in numbers when a bloodthirsty crew of religious zealots set their sights on wiping humanity out once and for all.
​

(NOTE: The following review will contain minor spoilers necessary solely for the discussion of plot and/or characters.  If you’re the type of reader who prefers a review entirely spoiler-free, then I’d encourage you to skip down to the last few paragraphs for the final assessment.  If, however, you’re accepting of a few modest hints at ‘things to come,’ then read on …)
 
From the film’s IMDB.com page citation:
“Two mercenaries help wandering caravans fight off an evil and aimless band of white-clad bikers after the nuclear holocaust.”
 
Throughout the 1960’s and into the 1970’s, Italian filmmakers put their particular stamp on the Great American Western, and – thusly – the ‘Spaghetti Western’ was born.  These films were, chiefly, shot in Italy where production costs were low; and the bulk of these storytellers sought to emulate the visual storytelling sensibilities of director Sergio Leone.  Also, the lion’s share of these films cast American actors in the leading roles, thus guaranteeing the ‘bankability’ and marketability of these oaters around the world and not just in Europe.  Despite varying wildly in quality, the Spaghetti Westerns undoubtedly left a mark on film history by both changing the way business was done as well as culturally influencing directors around the globe to follow in such stylistic footsteps.
 
For all its placement in the future, Warriors Of The Wasteland (aka The New Barbarians) is thematically little more than one of those Spaghetti Westerns.  Its two heroes – Scorpion (played by Giancarlo Prete) and Nadir (Fred Williamson) – are lone gunslingers transported from another time and another place into tomorrow.  Their horses are replaced by futuristic automobiles.  Scorpion’s pistol is of the laser-firing variety instead of the classic six shooter, and Nadir – his somewhat savage, dark-skinned associate – chooses the bow-and-arrow as his weapon of choice.  Though their escapades pack a more explosive wallop than did The Lone Ranger and Tonto, this construct – nomads on patrol – is the foundation upon which Castellari built this colorful vision.
 
Need more convincing?

​Well, the first half of Wasteland spends most of its time introducing both characters and their mutual adversaries: the Templars are a white-clad religious sect whose leader One (George Eastman) believes he’s been chosen by God, Nature, or whatever force remains in this broken universe to cleanse the Earth of the dregs of humanity who have somehow survived the Apocalypse.  Like missionaries who went out into the West with a religious conviction all of their own, One remains committed to his own vicious form of salvation; and he’ll stop at nothing to see anyone who stands in his way – man, woman, or child – dispatched into the great hereafter.  Though they’re painted as quintessential outlaws, an argument could be made that the Templars are little more than villainous cowboys who’ve lost their way.  Redemption is only possible if they clean what’s left of the world of the filth.
​

Still not convinced?
 
Then how about the caravan of survivors who make their appearance in the second half of the picture?  What might they resemble from a traditional oater?  If one thinks of them like a wagon train heading out into the great outback in hopes of finally finding a place they can call home, then the comparison of Wasteland as a Western is undeniable.  Like those settlers of old who would arrange their wagons in a closed circle, these fighters do the same, albeit here the circle is made of their broken and dilapidated automobiles.  They live in their own little mobile commune, and they band together to defend everything that’s theirs when the Templars finally descend upon them.
 
At this point, I realize that there may yet be one or two holdouts.  Persuasive arguments aren’t always convincing, and that’s why I saved the best piece of evidence until the last.  Bear with me.
 
As tends to happen in Westerns, our chief hero – in this case Scorpion – suffers a fairly dramatic beatdown at the hands of his enemies, and the same takes place in Wasteland.  Scorpion is captured.  He’s strung up by his arms and legs in what services as a town square for the Templars, and One implores his minions to do their worst with him.  It’s even suggested – though I’ll admit the filming of this was a bit confusing – that he’s anally raped by One, a torture I’ve read film scholars ascribe to a sub-culture of Italian films.  After this, he’s mostly left for dead, giving Nadir the opportunity to swoop in, rescue the man, and put him back on the road to recovery.
 
Inevitably, all roads lead back to the caravan, and this is precisely where the Old West style showdown in the street is so aptly staged by director Castellari.  Scorpion returns, laser gun on his hip and even the traditional Western poncho over his shoulders.  It’s all arranged and photographed just like any classic gun draw, and if that doesn’t convince you of my perspective on the whole affair then you’re two mules shy of a wagon train!
 
None of this is to dismiss the problems inherent within the picture, and there are quite a few.  Castellari’s vision of tomorrow is clearly hamstrung by the low-budget nature of Italian film production.  While Scorpion is outfitted with a reasonably impressive muscle car (with just enough accessories added aboard to give it that otherworldly look), the rest of the vehicle fleet are these – gasp! – dune buggy style creations that probably evoke more laughter than they inspire terror.  Akin to something out of Roger Corman’s Death Race 2000 (1975) if filmed in a senior retirement community, they just don’t evince that kind of grit, oil, and desperation as anything in the aforementioned Mad Max.  By comparison, these transports ‘whine’ instead of chug like the traditional autos, and the fact that they look like their top speed might be 20 or 30 miles per hour certainly makes all chase sequences incredibly underwhelming.
​

As Scorpion, Prete does a serviceable job.  While clearly looking the part of the screen hero, he never quite displays enough emotion to become relatable the way truly required for lasting audience appeal.  He moves through his moments with conviction but never appears to be enjoying himself.  By contrast, Williamson does appear to be not so much ‘living it up’ as he is ‘chewing scenery’ when afforded the opportunity.  Some of the former athlete’s success here might be owed to the fact that he looks like an End Times loner; buffed and ready to rumble, his only downside might be that he was a bit too clean when his co-stars were unkempt.  Eastman and co-star Ennio Girolami fill out the bill as evil leaders calling the shots for the Templars; but former Miss Italy Anna Kanakis appears buried under too much wig to evoke the level of sexiness methinks Castellari intended for her as the love interest.
 
Warriors Of The Wasteland (aka The New Barbarians) (1983) was produced by Deaf International and Fulvia Film.
 
(Mildly) Recommended.
 
While not achieving mainstream viability like the Mad Max films did, Castellari’s Warriors Of The Wasteland is, at best, an interesting diversion into a low-budget Apocalypse.  Lacking some of the muscle required to truly sell the end of the world as we know it, the film coasts – as do its gnarly dune buggies – at unscary speeds far too much of the time.  A few scenes resonate much the way the Italians Spaghetti Westerns did, and I say that there’s plenty of small favors in here to be thankful for.  Still, Williamson hams it up just enough as an archer shooting explosive-tipped arrows, and rarely have bad guys blown up so good.
 
For those who like these kinds of details, I viewed Warriors Of The Wasteland (1983) as part of the Sci-Fi Fever 20 Film Collection released by Mill Creek Entertainment in 2013, a purchase I made via Amazon.com.

(NOTE: The following review will contain minor spoilers necessary solely for the discussion of plot and/or characters.  If you’re the type of reader who prefers a review entirely spoiler-free, then I’d encourage you to skip down to the last few paragraphs for the final assessment.  If, however, you’re accepting of a few modest hints at ‘things to come,’ then read on …)
 
From the episode’s IMDB.com page citation:
“An ancient alien relic thwarts the Enterprise crew from re-routing a comet on track to strike an inhabited planet.”
 
When you’re dealing with an intellectual property as expansive and exhaustive as is Star Trek, then the truth is that stories are bound to repeat themselves from time-to-time.  The best a viewer can hope for is that the storytellers find some way to refresh an old idea with something vibrant and/or different, and – for the most part – “Children Of The Comet” succeeds, though the hour still has some wrinkles not uncommon to new programs just ‘getting their feet wet.’
 
For example, Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home (1986) featured a massive probe entirely of alien origin taking up orbit of the planet Earth, threatening the lives of everyone below as these space-bound overlords wait in silence for reply that Starfleet or the Federation cannot give.  Captain Kirk and his crew learn that these aliens are apparently trying to engage in conversation with humpback whales – long ago extinct to our world – so they head back in time to locate a few available members of that species and bring them back to the future, thus saving life as we know it once more.
 
Furthermore, Star Trek: The Next Generation’s “Tin Man” (Season 03, Episode 20) also used a similar construct to tell the story of a ship-sized space organism that led to localized conflict between the Enterprise-D and a Romulan Warbird.  (Those pesky Romulans wanted to claim the being as its own or – if they couldn’t – see it destroyed rather than have it fall into the hands of the Federation.)  Essentially, this magical creature intercedes on everyone’s behalf, setting both ships out of harm’s way (as well as diverting the obvious conflict) while choosing to die in the process as it had grown weary with existence.
​

So Star Trek: Strange New Worlds dusts off the whole idea with the airing of “Children Of The Comet.”  Here, the Starship Enterprise is charting the course of a wayward comet as it makes its way through the galaxy.  However, Spock deduces that the body is on a collision course with Persephone III – a world with a primitive civilization that possesses neither the technology to identify the approaching danger nor respond defensively to it – and this gives Captain Pike the motivation to interfere on these people’s behalf with his crew and save the day.  Before aid can be rendered and the world saved, a massive ship arrives, and a species known only as ‘The Shepherds’ forbids the Enterprise from inhibiting the comet, an entity they consider an instrument of divine providence.
 
At its core, “Children” feels very much like a throwback to Trek’s simplest yet most effective storytelling trope: a problem is presented – here it is the possible decimation of an entire planet – and the audience gets to sit back and watch as both sides get debated narratively through the actions of the parties.  Naturally, there’s a fair amount of posturing about what’s right and what’s wrong, but – as Science Fiction has always done exceptionally well – it’s all crafted delicately enough that both sides of the central issue seem – in the words of a Vulcan – logical.  The Federation might disagree with the Shepherds, but their opponent’s position is affirmed by their lifelong mission, as is Starfleet’s commitment to saving a civilization that clearly cannot save itself.
 
Still …
 
I come away with a bit of coldness at the conclusion of “Children.”  Inevitably, steps are taken which only give the appearance that Spock manages to concoct a scheme to save Persephone III from destruction, and yet what we learn is that the officer’s actions were in fact “preordained” by the comet, a being with its own active intelligence.  Allegedly, the comet only intended to graze the world all along, thus seeding it with water vapor and eliminating the desert-like existence of these primitive people.  Depending upon how one evaluates the message here, I can’t quite reconcile the fact that – if Starfleet did nothing – these aliens were never in any danger … and if Starfleet did its best then the aliens were still never in any danger.  So … why drag the audience through all of this … when the central conceit is kinda/sorta paradoxical in natural anyway?
 
Sigh.
 
Also, there’s an undercurrent to the whole affair that truly smacks of this being an episode early in a show’s run.
 
The talent is still getting used to being these fictional characters, so every now and then a line or two – or perhaps an action – won’t come off as being realistic.  (Yes, yes, yes: I realize this is all fictional anyway, so bear with me.)  Line delivery is occasionally a bit awkward, and Captain Pike – for what this is worth – calls his crew by their first names entirely too often.  (It’s okay when they’re off-duty – like when they’re hanging out in his bowling-alley-sized quarters, but on the Bridge?  No.  That doesn’t quite work for me.)  While I can appreciate and overlook a small level of flippancy by the crew, Lieutenant Ortegas – in particular – is starting to really grate on me.  She’s far too casual while on-the-clock, and she speaks in unprofessional jargon too much of the time.  Perhaps the writers are trying to find a balance … or perhaps none of them have ever been in a professional and/or military-style relationship long enough to know what’s likely accepted and what isn’t.  Some of this isn’t, and I’m sticking to it.
​

Also, I’d have to point out that the mechanics of running a starship – especially as it pertains to Bridge functions – never quite approach the level of traditional Trek.  For example, the Shepherds’ spaceship is huge in comparison to the Enterprise, and yet it never even apparently showed up on ship’s sensors before firing upon Pike and company?  I realize that the chief of security is – ahem – new to the role, but that’s the kind of thing that ought to get you, at least, a written warning.  What were you doing?  Sleeping at your post?  And – if I might ask – why did the Shepherds let the Enterprise tinker with their magical comet not once but twice before attacking the Federation flagship with phasers?  What?  Is “the third time’s a charm” the operative rule in outer space?
 
Lastly, I’m doing my best to hold back on nitpicking the – ahem – musical nature of “Children.”  It’s really an element to the story I don’t want to spoil, mostly because I think it really is that one tweak the writers tried to enact to give this story the freshness I alluded to above.  As for me, I can only say, yes, I thought it was an interesting diversion, though it goes by without enough explanation for me to truly buy into the concept of tech that works on music.  While clever, I’d still question just how that’s a plausible way to pilot anything … and doesn’t a show have to be on-the-air for a few seasons before it gets a musical episode?  (Snicker snicker)
 
Star Trek: Strange New Worlds’ “Children Of The Comet” was produced by CBS Television Studios, Roddenberry Entertainment, and Secret Hideout.  The episode was first streamed on Paramount+ on May 12, 2022.  Star Trek: Strange New Worlds is available for streaming on Paramount+, and its first season was released on home video (for commercial purchase) on March 31, 2023.  As for the technical specifications?  It’s pretty clear that Paramount has pulled out all of the stops in bringing this incarnation of Star Trek to life as the show looks and sounds pretty fabulous from start-to-finish; while I could nitpick the quality of some space scenes (coming off as a bit too like a video game), the presentation never distracted from my enjoyment of it.
 
Recommended.
 
“Children Of The Comet” certainly feels like a return-to-form for Star Trek, putting one major overriding moral conflict front-and-center for all of the action; and the episode’s final truth – that being that morality might very well be (like beauty) best left in the eye of the beholder – should definitely resonate with Trek enthusiasts young and old.  If anything, the episode occasionally feels a bit clunky as actors and actresses somewhat new to these characters don’t always deliver moments with the level of conviction and/or clarity needed to truly sell these circumstances.  As a result, it feels a bit too derivative at times, and a few snippets of dialogue ring more cliché than they do authentic.

​-- EZ

​I’ve found that words like “rebellious” and “subversive” get thrown around an awful lot by people whom I don’t believe know the meaning of words like “rebellious” and “subversive.”  Those are two words I’ve seen in many spaces used to describe All Cheerleaders Die (2013), and I’d caution my fellow critics to pull out the dictionary or invest in a good thesaurus should they wish to maintain such sterling reputations.  Granted, this picture isn’t as squeaky clean as the Kirsten Dunst headlined Bring It On (2000) … but I honestly think it’s hard for something that makes as little cognitive sense as this film does to earn the adjective of “rebellious” or “subversive.”
 
Try “goofy,” and you have a winner!
 
(NOTE: The following review will contain minor spoilers necessary solely for the discussion of plot and/or characters.  If you’re the type of reader who prefers a review entirely spoiler-free, then I’d encourage you to skip down to the last three paragraphs for my final assessment.  If, however, you’re accepting of a few modest hints at ‘things to come,’ then read on …)
 
From the film’s IMDB.com page citation:
“A rebel girl signs up a group of cheerleaders to help her take down the captain of their high school football team, but a supernatural turn of events thrusts the girls into a different battle.”
 
Sometimes it’s a bit difficult to figure out what to say about a feature, especially when the one I just finished looks like All Cheerleaders Die.  Basically, it’s this story of female empowerment, largely achieved by putting its ladies in skimpy costumes, have them practicing witchcraft, then have them making out with one another, then have them dying and getting resurrected all because those stupid, stupid high school boys tried to kill them.  While watching, I always try to form some basic impressions – some initial reaction – but so very much of the film seemed to vacillate between bad and just-plain-bad.
 
And when it feels like the writers, directors, or storytellers were deliberately trying to jerk you (as an audience) around, I usually find myself frowning at their obviousness.
 
Still, there’s some charm wrapped up with these Cheerleaders that was hard to defy even if that wasn’t my first instinct.  Much of that comes from the performances of the main players (FYI: the girls, not the guys, who were basically as faceless as the next teen star).  Caitlin Stasey, Sianoa Smit-McPhee, Brooke Butler, Amanda Grace Cooper, and Reanin Johannink might all share the pleasant distinction of being “easy on the eyes,” but they also manage to each bring some negligible spirit to this game that might not necessarily warm your hearts but should inspire you to keep watching.  (I know that worked for me.)  In particular, Butler practically attacks the screen with a kind of sure-footedness rarely seen from teen-ish newcomers, effortlessly switching between jilted young lover and Lolita-wannabe with accomplished grace (if not glee).  Smit-McPhee pulls off the confused angst common to that age, and her character perhaps finds life’s answers she’s seeking in witchcraft with equal ease, though the first half of the flick shackles her with far too much predictability.  However, all of these ladies definitely transcended the narrative weaknesses on display here, and I’d daresay they’re all ‘ones to watch’ in the years ahead.
​

As for the narrative weaknesses?
 
The script by Lucky McKee and Chris Sivertson (directed by same) never quite figured out what it wanted to be.  Is this a Comedy?  Is this a Drama?  Is it Horror?  Is this a cautionary tale for the modern era?  Thirty minutes in, I found myself looking at my watch wondering when the main plot was going to show up; and, as no main character had yet emerged on the scene, I was ready to write this off as a creative failure.  However, that’s about the point when a premise did show up … I just wish McKee and Sivertson knew what that premise was.
 
See, as much as Cheerleaders tried very hard to be about something (these ladies, these times, the black arts, etc.), it never quite successfully came together for me.  In fact, I don’t doubt that there was a very good (if not great) short film in here (IMDB states this is based on ‘their original film’); but narrative bloat really makes these 90 minutes difficult to swallow.  So very much of those first thirty minutes were loose, almost as if the writers didn’t quite know what the point of all of this was, and this kills any synergy from developing.  Too many moments felt like they were pulled from the After School Specials of 1970’s and 1980’s television; but given the tone of brazen snark exhibited by the players was I really supposed to take those lessons seriously?  Also, the sound engineering in those early moments wasn’t up-to-snuff (early on, it takes the aesthetic of the found-footage-film).  Sorry, but when I can’t tell what folks are saying, I tend to tune out if not lose interest entirely.
 
Once the flick puts itself in full horror-camp mode, it becomes a vastly better feature.  Sure, there are still some wild gaps in logic (what appears early on like Wicken magic gets ‘cheapified’ when it’s clear all one has to do is swallow stones to make yourself into a source of evil), but that’s all with keeping with the times.  And the laziness of the writing.
 
Also?  Hated most of the music soundtrack.  Just downright hated it.
 
All Cheerleaders Die (2013) is produced by Moderncine.  DVD distribution is being handled by RLJ Entertainment and Image Entertainment.  As for the technical specifications?  Most of the film is very smartly constructed with solid sights and sounds; unfortunately – as mentioned above – the first 20-30 minutes really could’ve used a better mix as the blaring music soundtrack really drowned out practically everything the cast was saying.  Lastly – if it’s special features you want – you can look forward to a brief (20 minutes) behind-the-scene featurette that I only found lukewarm.
 
(Mildly) Recommended, but ...
 
Not since the days of Lifeforce (1985) has a film lacked every such conviction to maintain any sense of logic to it, but that’s what you have to look forward to with All Cheerleaders Die (2013).  It utterly makes no sense, but – like a car crash – you may find yourself drawn curiously and curiously closer to its characters and their bloody plight.  I don’t know who writers/directors Lucky McKee and Chris Sivertson wanted to impress or offend, but odds are they achieved both goals in this little stinker that might just end up being the next great cult classic.  Or not.
 
In the interests of fairness, I’m pleased to disclose that the fine folks at RLJ Entertainment and Image Entertainment provided me with a DVD copy of All Cheerleaders Die (2013) by request for the expressed purposes of completing this review; and their contribution to me in no way, shape, or form influenced my opinion of it.

​-- EZ

Every now and then, a film comes along that requires me to pen my four favorite words ever: “I like monster movies.”
 
No, that doesn’t mean I like ALL monster movies, but, because I’m usually fascinated by them nonetheless, I feel inclined to let my readers know in advance that this probably won’t be the most impartial review you’re likely to read today.  I try to be as fair to those who might stumble across my words as I am to the films I watch, so there … I’ve done my part … and now I’d like to share my opinion of Grabbers, a singular piece of cinematic merriment that definitely deserves your undivided attention.
 
(NOTE: The following review will contain minor spoilers necessary solely for the discussion of plot and/or characters.  If you’re the kind of reader who prefers a review entirely spoiler-free, then I’d encourage you to skip down to the last three paragraphs for my final assessment.  If, however, you’re accepting of a few modest hints at ‘things to come,’ then read on …)
 
Tiny little Erin Island doesn’t have much going for it.  It’s quiet.  It’s quaint.  Folks who live there survive mostly on the sea by fishing and/or supporting the local fishing industry.  Otherwise, all they have to do in town is … well … drink and get drunk.  Local drunkard and police officer Ciaran O’Shea (played with terrific small-town flair by Richard Coyle) gets a new recruit – the straight-laced Lisa Nolan (an entirely cherubic Ruth Bradley … if anyone has ever been entirely cherubic) – for a short stint, but their training week goes from bad to worse when the idyllic setting is suddenly invaded by some small critters from space who’ve set their sights on ingesting the villagers.
 
Still … there’ll be time for a drink at the pub, no?
 
In short, Grabbers is a delight.
 
For those of you like me who love monsters, there’s plenty to be excited about.  Grabbers is in the same vein as a previous SciFi/Horror/Comedy: 1990’s Tremors introduced audiences to one butt-ugly group of giant, subterranean worms with a hankering for human flesh, and Grabbers picks up that appetite but substitutes the underground for the undersea for a part of its run-time (a pleasing 94 minutes).  The primary difference is that these aliens apparently come in stages – small hatchlings that act and behave like sightless rabid cats versus their monstrously large egg-laying momma.  Both the little and big want their share of the local color in their diet, and they’ll stop at nothing to fill their bellies.
 
There’s just one other problem: they can’t digest those with a pretty significant blood-alcohol level.
 
Of course, this prompts our local men (and women) in blue to propose the most uncharacteristic solution: get everyone stinking drunk!

​Once that plot point is well established, Kevin Lehane’s script is well on the way to serving up some of the best Horror laughs of the last decade (so far as this critic is concerned), and Jon Wright directs a terrific group of players who are all-in on the laughs.  Coyle is particularly strong as the lead here – he’s also weighed down with some other emotional baggage that only adds to his development – and Russell Tovey as the local marine ecologist Dr. Adam Smith manages to squeeze in some welcome comic relief at even the most inopportune moments.  Local lush Paddy Barrett as played by Lalor Roddy is a comic genius who mumbles and stumbles along for the ride.  But the real find here is Ms. Bradley – her Lisa Nolan is a star-making performance, one that ought to see her finding success beyond this picture in spades.  This is the kind of thing Julia Roberts (or maybe even Goldie Hawn, if you go back earlier) used to do when one could bank on her for success, and I wouldn’t be surprised to see more from Ms. Bradley in the future.
 
Also, I’d be remiss if I didn’t point out that Grabbers played as an Official Selection to the 2012 Sundance Film Festival.  The picture was also nominated for the 2013 Golden Fleece Award; Bradley won the ‘Best Actress Award’ at the 2013 Irish Film and Television Awards while the film was also nominated for Best Picture, Best Script Film, and Best Supporting Actress; director Jon Wright won the ‘Audience Award’ and the ‘Titra Film Award’ at the 2012 Neuchatel International Fantasy Film Festival (the picture only scored a nomination as Best Fantasy Film); and the film won the ‘Audience Award’ at the 2012 Strasbourg International Film Festival.
 
Yes, it’s all that good … and it even left an opening for a sequel.
 
Grabbers (2012) is produced by Forward Films, High Treason Productions, the Irish Film Board, Nvizible, and Samson Films.  DVD distribution is being handled through MPI Media Group for IFC Midnight.  As for the technical specifications, the film looks and sounds impressive, though I’ll admit I struggled with the thick Irish accents in the early scenes of the flick (thankfully, there’s an English subtitling track for folks just like me!).  Its special features are slim – there’s a 15-minute behind-the-scenes short and the theatrical trailer – and this is the kind of production I seriously could’ve spent all day with if the folks behind it had ponied ‘em up.  Sadly, they didn’t, but it is what it is.
 
Highly recommended.
 
Yes, yes, and yes!  Because I love monster movies, I’m highly predisposed to giving Grabbers as enthusiastic a thumbs-up as you’re likely to see anywhere on the web … but is that so wrong?  There’s just enough mirth, murder, and mayhem to make this one a keeper – it’s done in the same vein as the unappreciated Tremors (1990) but with an even more wicked sense of humor, a greater sense of ambiguity, and an assortment of local color that’ll have you rolling in the aisles if you love ‘em as much as I did.  Pop some popcorn.  Turn out the lights.  Bundle up on the couch.  Get scared silly by the weirdest monster you’ll see this year, and you might want to toss a few back (“drinks”) to join in the merriment!
 
In the interests of fairness, I’m pleased to disclose that the fine folks at MPI Media Group provided me with a DVD copy of Grabbers (2012) by request for the expressed purposes of completing this review.  Their contribution to me in no way, shape, or form influenced my opinion of it.

​-- EZ

I’ve always believed that ‘End of the World’ flicks will never go out of style.
 
“Why is that?” you wonder.
 
Well, there are probably all kinds of reasons.  I tend to think that we, as a culture, have some deep-rooted fear for exactly how our world might come to an end.  Somehow, a fascination with these stories is written into our DNA.  Maybe that’s why so many folks – regular Joes and politicians alike – are fascinated with the idea of Global Warming.  Also, I tend to think that we, as a culture, are secretly captivated by what would happen to us if all or most or our technology was stripped away.  How would we react?  How could we survive?  What would we become?  How many of us could make it?  That’s the stuff of everyday nightmares – ones we never want to face but are all too happy to take in on the silver screen or behind the glow of a warm TV set only a few feet away.
 
That’s precisely the stuff at the heart of The Colony (2013).  For all of its questions and/or maybe its minor moral posturing, this is a tale about survival when survival is only but a dream.
 
(NOTE: The following review will contain minor spoilers necessary solely for the discussion of plot and characters.  If you’re the kind of reader who prefers a review entirely spoiler-free, then I’d encourage you to skip down to the last three paragraphs for my final assessment.  If, however, you’re accepting of a few modest hints at ‘things to come,’ then read on …)
 
In the near future, some catastrophe has blanked all of the Earth in a new ice age.  The only human who survive are those who’ve taken to these remote underground outposts – scientific establishments that stockpiled seeds in the event of such devastation.  Colony 7 – managed by Briggs (played by the reliable Laurence Fishburne) – receives a distress call from a nearby base; when it suddenly goes silent, he tasks Sam (Kevin Zegers) to go with him, out into the cold, to investigate.  What they find might indeed spell doom for the remnants of mankind, assuming the maniacal Mason (Bill Paxton) doesn’t kill everyone first.
 
As is often the case with a one-off flick that’s only one part science fiction and two parts something else, the writing isn’t exactly what one would consider up-to-snuff.  In fact, if you strip away the SciFi elements (i.e. it’s the future, there’s been some man-made weather-related catastrophe, and science is all that can save us), then you’re left with what the film does best: cold escapism.  (Pun intended!)  This is a kinda/sorta race-against-the-elements feature and nothing more: man’s struggle against extreme weather, man’s struggle against an unnamed virus, man’s struggle to eat & drink & (generally speaking) be merry.  On that quotient, I thought The Colony worked quite nicely.  Sure, you may have to dismiss some of its unanswered questions (i.e. what is this plague they speak of? What is the other plague – which apparently causes men to turn feral – they speak of? What happened to all that ‘global warming’ stuff?) mostly because a script by four people (yes, you read that right) feels a bit so routine it could’ve been penned by a computer program, but, so far as these 94 minutes are concerned, I give it a pass.
​

What works convincingly and consistently are the visuals provided by director Jeff Renfroe.  He’s tapped into this bleak tomorrow and shackled it with all the grim, survival facets one would expect from a seasoned veteran of the big and small screen despite his fairly slim resume, and let me assure you this isn’t a world you’d want to visit much less be forced to survive in.  It’s lonely.  It’s freezing.  It’s entirely hopeless.  Also with no soil, little sunlight, and a constant snowfall, growing food for breakfast, lunch, and dinner isn’t an easy task; it’s a constant battle, and Renfroe admirably captures it all – even the sprawling, snow-covered landscapes – with an eerie Apocalyptic claustrophia that SciFi fans generally embrace.  Kudos to him and the production department.
 
As for the performances?
 
Well, when you’re shackled with a script that feels almost rudimentary, then the best some talent can do is phone in the obligatory emotions.  Still, the impressive presence of Laurence Fishburne, Bill Paxton, and even a young Kevin Zegers helps elevate the material a few notches above the predictability of the situations; suffice it to say, I would like to see what the same could’ve done with some material with more meat on its bones … but this is the Apocalypse, after all, so meat was hard to come by.
 
The Colony (2013) is produced by RLJ Entertainment, Sierra Pictures, Alcina Pictures, Item 7, Mad Samurai Productions, and 120dB Films.  DVD distribution is being handled by RLJ Entertainment.  As for the technical specifications, the picture looks and sounds very impressive, though I’ll admit I had some trouble hearing Mr. Fishburne as he mumbled (coldly) through some of his early speeches.  For those inclined to want to know more, there are two special features – some brief behind-the-scenes stuff along with interviews with the cast and crew – that amount to a nice extra but (again) not much of a meal.  I would’ve liked to have seen more on the film’s effects, but maybe that’s just me.
 
Recommended.
 
I realize that, in some respects, I may be the ‘lone wolf’ ‘round these parts actually giving The Colony an endorsement, and, to some degree, that’s quite possible because in my experience I know you can do far worse than experience these 94 minutes.  Sure, the science of this SciFi may not make much sense, but, at its core, the film is much closer to a survival/suspense film than anything else.  In that regard, it kept my interest fine enough for entertainment purposes, and that’s mostly why I’d recommend it … especially to folks who enjoy even a respectable dose of admittedly light Science Fiction.
 
In the interests of fairness, I’m pleased to disclose that the fine folks at RLJ Entertainment provided me with a DVD copy of The Colony (2013) by request for the expressed purposes of completing this review.  Their contribution to me in no way, shape, or form influenced my opinion of it.

​-- EZ

Word: Sisu
 
Meaning: Well … from what I’ve read, “sisu” is a word that doesn’t quite translate outside of its native Finland.

​Essentially, "sisu" is a term that touches on traits like determination and perseverance.  According to Google.com, it doesn’t mean that one is courageous in the moment but brings courage to each and every action.
 
(NOTE: The following review will contain minor spoilers necessary solely for the discussion of plot and/or characters.  If you’re the type of reader who prefers a review entirely spoiler-free, then I’d encourage you to skip down to the last few paragraphs for the final assessment.  If, however, you’re accepting of a few modest hints at ‘things to come,’ then read on …)
 
From the film’s IMDB.com page citation:
“When an ex-soldier who discovers gold in the Lapland wilderness tries to take the loot into the city, Nazi soldiers led by a brutal SS officer battle with him.”
 
Having seen the coming attraction for Sisu some time ago and already been smitten with its promised charms, I’ll happily admit that writer/director Jalmari Helander’s script still managed to sneak in a surprise history lesson here and there in what’s otherwise little more than a capable and rousing crowd-pleaser.  In fact, I knew very little of Finland’s past as it pertains to World War II, so including the plight of both our hero and his people’s backstory strengthened the already relatable dynamic that underscores the bulk of the film.  The Nazis?  They were bad dudes.  Exceptionally bad.  Maybe even the baddest in all of civilization.  So it’s only natural that Helander and his cast and crew set about giving them this cinematic comeuppance.
 
The film opens with Aatami Korpi (played wonderfully by Jorma Tommila) well into the ‘broken man’ phase of his existence.  He’s old.  He’s tired.  Though the audience doesn’t yet know the depth of his trials yet, he looks like a fellow worn down by the strife of living a life through some of our planet’s darkest days; so, it’s entirely understandable why he’s chosen isolation over companionship … well, except for the creature comforts of a dog and a horse.  He sits peacefully in the countryside barely noticing those fleeing German planes dotting the skies over his head.  To Korpi, the world outside no longer matters.  It exists only as an inconvenience.  It’s little more than a reminder that he’s still breathing.
 
Because life always finds a way to intrude on those merely existing, Korpi’s harmless panning for gold is suddenly richly rewarded: the discovery of a small nugget points him to a nearby stretch of land that he inevitably cracks open, only to find glistening vein of gold stretching as long as he is tall.  Realizing his days have finally taken a turn for the better, he packs what he can carry in his saddlebags and sets out for the big city.
 
It’s this return to civilization that ultimately brings out the beast in Korpi, and that might very well be the ‘moral to the story’ hidden in the subtext of Sisu: society has a way – intended or not – of bringing out the worst in each of us.  Isolated and alone?  We’re fine.  But when we gather together, things tend to go awry.  Sometimes quickly.  Sometimes catastrophically.  When the road between here and there is paved with Nazi scum (literally here but metaphorically for the rest of us), one does what one must to survive.  World War II has turned against Germany, and – in response – these departing occupiers have been ordered to employ a ‘scorched Earth’ policy across Finland, meaning that they’re Hell bent on killing, corrupting, or contaminating anything they find in their way.  It’s the inevitable meeting of these opposing forces – Korpi and the Reich – that gives Sisu its heart … and sells theater tickets.
​

Much in the same way that John Rambo confronted his demons and killed anything standing in his way aboard First Blood (1982) and – more so – Rambo: First Blood Part 2 (1985), Aatami Korpi brings his special set of skills to bear again and again.  Giving little thought to his own personal safety, he falls down, he’s shot, he’s stabbed, and he gets back up time against impossible odds because that’s all this former soldier knows.  In fact, the audience eventually learns that this renegade one-man-army maintains a body count rumored to be over three hundred kills.  His commanding officers found him impossible to command, so they just let him loose to do his worst.  As a result of his bloody conquests, the Russians nicknamed him ‘The Immortal’ not so much because they couldn’t kill him but because he refused to die.
 
So, yes, Sisu is logically wonderful in the way Korpi relentlessly takes the fight to antiquity’s quintessential villains, and who can really blame him?  The war took everything from him, so all that’s left to fight for is himself, what remains of his honor, and a few sacks of gold for his troubles.  Director Helander stages these confrontations between right and wrong with increasing delight.  About the time one thinks the carnage can’t grow any bigger, Korpi has taken to using a German minefield against the approaching troops, and the sequences deliver as many chuckles as they do grimaces.  It’s big.  It’s bold.  It’s brash.  And it’s even balderdash in a few spots … but who’s to care?
 
If you ask me, then I’d say these Nazis had it coming.
 
Lastly, I’d be remiss in my duties as influencer of All Things Genre if I failed to mention that Sisu has not gone unnoticed by our cultural betters.  At the 2022 Sitges – Catalonian International Film Festival, the motion picture took home an incredible four statues in the categories of ‘Best Actor’ (for Tommila), ‘Best Cinematography’ (for Kjell Lagerroos), ‘Best Original Music’ (for Juri Seppä and Tuomas Wäinölä), and ‘Best Motion Picture.’  That’s indeed some high praise for a film that revels so joyously in justly dispatching Nazis with some grim determination.
 
Sisu (2022) was produced by Stage 6 Films and Subzero Film Entertainment.  According to the publicity materials I’ve been provided by Lionsgate, the film is presently slated for theatrical opening this upcoming April 28th, 2022.  As for the technical specifications?  Wow.  This glorious and gleeful wartime revenge thriller rather ably dispenses wayward soldiers of the Third Reich in unrelenting fashion, and it’s all captured wonderfully in vivid sights and sounds from start-to-finish.
 
Highly recommended.
 
Sigh.  If only a Nazi would learn to quit while he’s ahead, then maybe – maybe – one or two or three of them might’ve made it out alive of Sisu (2022).  But none did, and all suffered as a consequence.  Alas, history’s dirtiest evildoers couldn’t help themselves, and this bloodthirsty bunch came up against a single man who was more than their collective equal.  Yes, it’s violent.  Yes, it’s occasionally a bit gratuitous.  And, yes, it strains credibility here and there.  But what some might dismiss as a bit of cacophonous revenge porn still turns out to be a fabulous palate cleanser for those tired of too much traditional fare and lean toward the subversive.  In the end, the picture is a cleverly brutal escapist Fantasy that shows uniquely how hardened, self-assured independence will likely always stand against socialist greed.
 
Those who denounce toxic masculinity might want to check with their therapists before buying a ticket.
 
In the interests of fairness, I’m pleased to disclose that the fine folks at Lionsgate provided me with complimentary streaming access to Sisu (2022) by request for the expressed purposes of completing this review.  Their contribution to me in no way, shape, or form influenced my opinion of it.

​-- EZ

Really, folks?  Really?

Sigh.

With all that's been written and/or spoken this week across hundreds if not thousands of vlogs and blogs regarding the -- ahem -- state of The Mandalorian, you want to know what I thought?

Well.  Aren't I special?

No, I won't do it.  I'm not gonna go into a deep dive on the good, the bad, or the ugly of the Season Three.  I have spouted off here and there in small ways about the state of the Empire, and I think most of what I said in those spaces still apply.  At this point in my creative life, I've no compunction to pen columns on every show I watch -- trust me when I say that I just wouldn't have that kind of time -- but since a few of you have emailed me privately asking for a reflection I'll share just a note or two or three as they come to me off the top of my head.  (So there will likely be spelling errors as I'm not checking this.)

Unlike previous seasons, Season Three's side stories just didn't quite seem to add up to the program's whole arc.  Put simply, we spent a whole episode getting to know Dr. Pershing and that Imperial spy (name escapes me at the moment, and -- on that count -- I'd question whether or not it's even that important), and -- sigh -- we didn't really even require that information.  Correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't we already know the extent to which Moff Gideon was interested in cloning?  Maybe we didn't know the exact particulars, but in a show that seems to have developed its own shorthand I'm kinda surprised that producers invested so much time, effort, and money with Pershing.  I'm not saying it wasn't interesting.  I'm saying it wasn't necessary.

​Second?  Yeah.  Mando's kinda/sorta lost some of his glory.  He's lost a good amount of his sass.  His strut and general manliness.  He had to be rescued many times this season, and, yes, he even had to be rescued in the finale.  Sure, maybe he had some great action before Bo-Katan showed up, but she still had to pull his Beskar-covered ass out of the fire (as did Grogu), so there's that.  And as for that action?  Meh.  The barrier shield scene really felt a little too much like a callback to The Phantom Menace for me, and -- while I can appreciate 'fan service' as much as the next guy -- I would've liked something a bit more original.  It wasn't awful.  It was just a bit predictable.

Third?  Still not liking the starfighter over the Razor's Crest.  Sorry.  Gotta say it.

Last?  Well, I'll have to concur with an awful lot of what's been said out there in cyberspace in that the whole season just kinda/sorta felt a bit lazy, a bit directionless, and maybe even a tad predictable.  The only stuff I think I truly appreciated were the bits involving some of the lore and legends about Mandalore -- this kind of thing typically fascinates me anyway -- and I think it was handled reasonably well without feeling like too much exposition (though not perfectly).  I have read that the season needed to be reshaped a bit to bring Grogu back in after the events of The Book Of Boba Fett; and -- like so many -- I'm still questioning whether or not that was the right thing to do.  Sure, he sells toys ... but where can you go with it after that?

See what I mean?  I really had nothing of any major significance to add to the whole Mando debate.  If I did, then I'd happily pony it up and take a shot of some clickbait hits, which I'm never opposed to directly.  But when a season finale leaves you kinda/sorta cold?  Rather than pile on, I'll hope that they find some new direction now that the bounty hunter seems to have gotten back into that business.

As always, thanks for reading ... and may the Force be with you!

​-- EZ

Folks, can you believe that I -- yours truly -- was once called a "prude" simply because I had the audacity to say that I'm not as big a fan of traditional slasher movies as the next writer?

Again: for clarity's sake, this is in no way, shape, or form meant to say that I don't like this unique sub-genre of Horror.  It's just that because I've seen so many of them -- because there are big budget and low budget attempts in this field -- that I rarely see anything fresh, vibrant, and different about them.  (Well, except maybe the way they sever a head here and there, which really isn't all that clever any more.)  I'm all for the flicks that do try to inventively reshape the bloodletting into a variation that's untried; I'm just saying that I don't see that happen often enough to give the films wider coverage in this space.  But when I do see something that might be unique or some new releases are pointed out to me by friends, foes, and distributors I'm willing to share the news as a kinda/sorta Public Service Announcement for like-minded knuckleheads.

Is that so wrong?

​So, no, I've yet to see these forthcoming Horror/Comedies -- The Third Saturday In October (2022) and The Third Saturday In October Part V (2022) -- but the titles alone piqued my interest.  At my age, I'll take as many piques as I can get!  A distributor friend of mine in the business passed along word of their forthcoming release in the marketplace; I've looked over the supplemental materials -- will be copying and pasting quite a bit of them below -- and I encourage interested readers to check this out.

Dare I say?  This looks kinda fun?

Clearly, the producers are trying to both satirize as well as affectionately honor the Golden Days of home video.  It was a time when anyone with a camera, some friends, and a reasonable budget could try to craft their own frightening carnival attraction for the masses-at-large.  While there was a good number of releases that have understandably fallen into the trash bins of film history, I can say as -- having lived through that era -- there were some releases that rose to the top of the barrel as well.  Like this film, I think those older features deserve to be discovered and re-discovered, so take all of this in the spirit of -- erm -- "discovery" for which it was intended.

Details are below.  Read 'em and weep.  You know what to do.

What if a lost horror franchise made during the peak of the slasher genre was unearthed today, but only two of the films could be restored? Filmmaker Jay Burleson imagined just that with THE THIRD SATURDAY IN OCTOBER: PART V and THE THIRD SATURDAY IN OCTOBER: PART I coming to VOD + Digital Platforms May 5th from Dark Sky Films. 

A double feature of terror, THE THIRD SATURDAY IN OCTOBER Part V sees unstoppable killer Jakkariah Harding once again stalking and butchering the football-loving residents of a small Alabama town, this time finding a treasure trove of victims after he chances upon a football watch party. And then get ready to see how the horror began in THE THIRD SATURDAY IN OCTOBER Part I, which tells the story of Harding's death row escape and ensuing slaughter as two survivors of his initial attack hunt him down. 

Aiming to recreate the by-gone video store days when horror fans might have had to watch a franchise out of order, the filmmakers intended for viewers to start with Part V and then go back to Part 1.

Twice the scares, twice the laughs, and a world-building start of a franchise that’s as outlandishly clever in its deception as every gore set piece it throws on screen, THE THIRD SATURDAY IN OCTOBER films are a red-blooded American slice of southern gothic infused with a deliciously twisted sense of humor.
​

THE THIRD SATURDAY IN OCTOBER: PART V

OFFICIAL FILM SYNOPSIS:
It's Part V. Unstoppable killer Jakkariah "Jack" Harding is back in town after seven years, as he stalks and kills at random before chancing upon a football watch party. The game is, of course, between longstanding rivals the Alabama-Mobile Seahawks and Tennessee A&M Commonwealth. Chaos ensues, in increasingly ridiculous fashion, with inventive murders and multiple love triangles. Hearts are broken and appendages are torn.

THE THIRD SATURDAY IN OCTOBER: PART V
Directed & Written by: Jay Burleson (The Nobodies)
Produced by: Frank Crafts & Ian J. Cunningham
Country of Origin: United States
Language: English
Genre: Horror/Thriller/Comedy
Distributor: Dark Sky Films 
Run Time: 89 minutes
Cast: Kansas Bowling (Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, Christmas Bloody Christmas), Poppy Cunningham (The Death of Dick Long), Taylor Smith (Angels on Earth the Light of Faith), Bart Hyatt (The Nobodies), Autumnn Jaide (Deathless), Tom Hagale (Dormant), Parker Love Bowling (Once Upon a Time in Hollywood)


​
​The long lost slasher franchise THE THIRD SATURDAY IN OCTOBER is back!

Red Corpses LLC and Sleep Creature LLC are proud to announce they have partnered with Dark Sky Films to restore and release two entries in the long running slasher saga.

The series began in 1979 as a quick cash-in on John Carpenter's HALLOWEEN. Series producer Frank Crafts, an Alabama native, believed he had a great idea for a horror film with Southern roots - what if HALLOWEEN were set in the South, and instead of a traditional holiday, it centered around a Southern institution: college football. Thus, THE THIRD SATURDAY IN OCTOBER was born, a small-town slasher film revolving around a group of friends watching an annual football match between the Alabama-Mobile Seahawks and the Tennessee A&M Commonwealth. Unfortunately for them, an unstoppable killer named Jakkariah Harding shows up to murder them one by one.

The original film garnered little national attention but birthed multiple low-rent sequels throughout the 1980s before the franchise flamed out when the trashy fourth installment ran the series completely off the rails. Borrowing a page from the HALLOWEEN playbook, Crafts doubled down and attempted to resurrect the saga with an unrelated spin-off in 1990, but the series returned to the Jakkariah Harding storyline in 1994, utilizing a comedic approach to hopefully win back its audience. The series officially ended in 2000 with PART VI: THE LAST THIRD SATURDAY IN OCTOBER, but the series ultimately fell victim to what producer Ian Cunningham refers to as "The Third Saturday Curse", as the films slowly vanished off the face of the earth after a series of unfortunate events, including internal feuding, bankruptcy, a warehouse fire, and cheap VHS manufacturing leading to unplayable tapes. 

With the assistance of Dark Sky Films, the creators of the saga have unearthed two of their lost films: the original offering from 1979, and the 1994 sequel THE THIRD SATURDAY IN OCTOBER PART V.

Any fan of science fiction worth his or her salt will tell you that the SciFi stories that work best are those that are grounded in decidedly human tales.
 
For example, Neill Blomkamp’s District 9 (2009) works as well as it does because it takes the story of your average bureaucrat just trying to do his job who (tragically) finds his humanity exactly as he’s losing it.  Likewise, Ridley Scott’s exceptional Blade Runner (1982) is as much about the human experience as it is the artificial, putting a character who doesn’t even know what he is at the center of a controversy involving lifeforms both real and manufactured.
 
In the last few years – with the emergence of small but smart SciFi films like Shane Carruth’s Upstream Color (2013) and Kristina Buozyte’s Vanishing Waves (2012) – I think it’s grown harder and harder to get noticed by critics; but thank goodness for The Machine.  While I didn’t find it as revelatory as others in the biz, it’s still one of those flicks that’s worth your time and investment.
 
(NOTE: The following review will contain minor spoilers necessary solely for the discussion of plot and/or characters.  If you’re the type of reader who prefers a review entirely spoiler-free, then I’d encourage you to skip down to the last three paragraphs for my final assessment.  If, however, you’re accepting of a few modest hints at ‘things to come,’ then read on …)
 
From the product packaging:
“Deep into a second Cold War, Britain’s Ministry of Defense wants a game-changing weapon.  Lead scientist Vincent McCarthy (Toby Stephens) has developed a cybernetic super-soldier dubbed ‘The Machine.’  When a programming bug causes the prototype to run amok, McCarthy takes his obsessive efforts underground.  Soon he has perfected the ideal marriage of human and machine in his ultimate creation, a beautiful and dangerous being (Caity Lotz) that may be the key to ending the war, but a sentience stirring inside the machine puts everyone’s plans in jeopardy.”
 
The Machine is one of those rare films that is probably received better the less you know about it.
 
That’s a bit of a rough statement I realize, but not even the product packaging does the plot justice here as there are many, many other layers at work in the narrative that aren’t touched on, the most important of which is McCarthy’s personal struggle.  Like James Franco’s character in Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes (2011), McCarthy is a scientist who’s committed to his work in hopes that his discoveries will allow him to find a cure for his ailing daughter; were this struggle entirely missing from the film, then The Machine would probably be as heartless, bloodless, and soulless as the next cinematic attempt to tinker in the areas of human-shaped Artificial Intelligence.  Because this decidedly mortal and relatable struggle remains front-and-center in McCarthy’s motivations, this dark and curious story loses some of its formulaic elements and remains relevant.
​

That said, writer/director Caradog W. James kinda/sorta taps into scenes and influences of other films a bit more often here than he should have.  For example, the setting of the military lab feels like the Liberty Station set from John Carpenter’s Escape From New York (1981), though with much less effective lighting.  The base’s interiors are so poorly lit that they try to evoke the look and visual palate of Ridley Scott’s Blade Runner.  And the film’s score also tries to hit creative beats of both of those features along with a slew of low-budget horror films of the 80’s.  While it’s great to have ‘influences,’ there’s no need to have them so overpowering that they block the importance of your own ideas, and I couldn’t help but wonder what The Machine would’ve looked look if more creative choices were made entirely on their own merits and not to evoke someone else’s.
 
Likewise, there are elements of the story that tap a vein kinda/sort already amply explored by Syfy’s pretty stellar Battlestar Galactica (2003-2009) redux, as well as its inferior Caprica (2009-2010) spin-off.  The real shame in that is that James’ ideas here were strong enough to carry the day on their own.  While the ending came off a bit too formulaic for my tastes, it was still awfully hard to turn away from this inspired look at the near-future wherein our greatest enemy may very well be the souls we manufacture to do our own bidding.
 
Also, I’d be remiss in my duties if I failed to mention that The Machine has found certain acclaim from the film community.  It won the ‘Best Film’, ‘Best Costume Design’, and ‘Best Original Score’ trophies at the 2013 BAFTA Awards in Wales.  Furthermore, the film won the Raindance Award while actress Caity Lotz had to settle for only a nomination as the ‘Most Promising Newcomer’ at the 2013 British Independent Film Awards.  And it also garnered some prestigious attention from the 2013 Raindance Film Festival, the 2013 Sitges-Catalonian International Film Festival, and the 2013 Toronto After Dark Film Festival.  Bravo!
 
The Machine (2013) is produced by Red and black Films and a host of other contributors.  DVD distribution is being handled by XLRator Media.  As for the technical specifications, this is one smartly shot film from start-to-finish, but I thought writer/director James overused his affinity for dark spaces more than he needed to.  Lastly, if it’s special features you want, then you may be disappointed: there’s only an “Inside the Machine” feature and the theatrical trailer to look forward to; I honestly expected more.
 
Highly Recommended.
 
I’m sure I probably didn’t like this one as much as most will – that sometimes happens with me and science fiction films, which I hold in an unusually high regard – but that doesn’t mean you should pass up checking out The Machine.  My problems with it largely had to do with creative, artistic choices that I felt were derivative, meaning that the picture would’ve been served better by incorporating a freshness across the board instead of reminding me of so many other uses of the same ideas and themes.  It’s definitely worth a look, though be prepared to study it through too many layers of murky cinematography.
 
In the interests of fairness, I’m pleased to disclose that the fine folks at XLRator Media provided me with a DVD copy of The Machine by request for the expressed purposes of completing this review; and their contribution to me in no way, shape, or form influenced my opinion of it. 

​-- EZ

I’ve mentioned many, many times in this space that I – like so many of my generation – grew up reading comic books.
 
Back in those days, comic books really were more unique flights of fancy than what I’ve seen today.  There wasn’t as much focus on, say, defining the science behind making some of those stories work – I do think today’s audience has kinda/sorta upped the ante on knowing so much about how things function that it occasionally strips the fun out of modern adventures – and readers really were looking more for escape from the daily grind.  Then, the 1980’s came, and serious tones and ideas truly overtook the graphic literary landscape.  Superheroes were suddenly facing things like nuclear Armageddon, universe-altering mythologies, and even – ahem – old age.  This isn’t to say reading became, well, less fun.  Rather, it’s meant to just point out that the industry grew up a bit; and readers were forced to adapt whether they liked these issues or not.
 
Generally speaking, this evolution worked.  Comic books were no longer thought of juvenile Fantasies playing out of in pictures painted on cheap paper.  These were epics.  These were larger-than-life yarns that, maybe, Hemingway and Faulkner and Shakespeare might’ve come up with had they had both the technology, time, and talent to compose.  Naturally, such an elevation in importance caught the attention of Hollywood – of all places – and 1989’s Batman definitely launched a trend – for better or for worse – that sought to give some artistic credibility (and box office glory) to these heroes of old.
 
Well, here we are, decades after that new beginning, and the traditional comic book theatrical adaptation – by all financial accounts – has started waning considerable.  The Marvel Cinematic Universe – once thought to be the crown jewel of modern-day Superhero storytelling – has kinda/sorta lost its mojo, both critically and profitably.  Though these films still seem to fill the seats for a weekend or two, they just aren’t performing with the same kind of long-term results of their predecessors; and no one seems to have the answers as to precisely why they’ve fallen out of favor.  If you ask me personally, then I might be able to rattle off a variable or two or three (maybe four), but at the end of the day (or discussion) that’s only one man’s opinion.
 
Instead, might I suggest readers turn their attention elsewhere?
 
Oh, if you like Superheroes, then Freaks Vs. The Reich (2021) is certainly close enough to that mark to whet your whistle.  In fact, the picture feels very much like an authentic origins story, though it doesn’t go into measured detail about where or when these – ahem – powerful mutants got their start.  Still, what it does do is bring them together and put them on their own Avengers-style mission vastly more personal and appreciably darker than anything Marvel or DC have ever tried … and it just might make you yearn for more adventures outside of the usual Hollywood format.
​

(NOTE: The following review will contain minor spoilers necessary solely for the discussion of plot and/or characters.  If you’re the kind of reader who prefers a review entirely spoiler-free, then I’d encourage you to skip down to the last few paragraphs for the final assessment.  If, however, you’re accepting of a few modest hints at ‘things to come,’ then read on …)
 
From the film’s IMDB.com page citation:
“Rome, 1943: Matilde, Cencio, Fulvio, and Mario are the main attractions of the ‘Mezza Piotta Circus’ run by Israel, meanwhile someone starts looking for the four freaks with a plan that could change the fate of the whole world.”
 
1981’s Raiders Of The Lost Ark (Paramount Pictures) was one of films from the great 80’s that introduced the idea of the Third Reich’s obsession with fringe science to pop culture.  While there were other works that followed in that same vein, Raiders – under Steven Spielberg’s direction – truly set the bar high, really only leaving scant leg room for imitators to latch onto that key premise – about Fascists in search of science or magic to rule the world – and to attempt something a bit different with it.
 
2021’s Freaks Vs. The Reich (aka Freaks Out) isn’t so much a successor to that fateful idea as it is maybe one of the first foreign releases I’ve stumbled across to pick up the baton and run with it, although in a markedly different direction.  Here, the Nazis aren’t so much infatuated with some mysterious bauble to change their fate, but one man – Franz (played by Franz Rogowski) – who is a bit of a mutant himself rather zealously commits himself to finding ‘freaks’ with ‘powers’ who might alter the dark future he’s been suffering from with his own abilities.  You see, Franz’s dreams have shown him that Hitler will fall, the West will emerge victorious, and society will make vast strides without Germany at the forefront; and that’s a tomorrow he simply can’t allow.
 
Using the Zirkus Berlin as his front business, Franz – along with heavily armed assistance from the Reich itself – has been slowly seeking out these potential superheroes from his dreams.  One by one, these glorious freaks arrive with dreams of showcasing their special abilities in Hitler’s circus; and one by one they’re grimly dispatched from this world to the next if they aren’t those Franz has seen in his dreams.  Only they – with his leadership – can lead Germany off history’s course of its downfall, and he’ll stop at nothing to change future for his Fuhrer.  In the meantime, Franz – born with six fingers on each hand – entertains audiences with some of the wildest piano recitals possible with his own unique gift.
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Not all that far away, the Half-Penny Circus is trying to make end meet end.  Its small band of marquee performers – Matilde (Aurora Giovinazzo), Fulvio (Claudio Santamaria), Cencio (Pietro Castellitto), and Mario (Giancarlo (Martini) – delight audiences with their respective little tricks.  Unlike imposters, however, these four are truly gifted with powers or conditions that can only find a home amongst circus performers, hence the ‘freaks’ of the film’s title.  Were I to assign them Superhero names, Matilde’s would be ‘the Electric Ballerina;’ Fulvio’s would be ‘Hairface;’ Cencio’s would be ‘Insect Man;’ and Mario’s would be ‘Magnet Clown.’  (Yes, yes: I jest, but you get the point.)  Together, they’re a family of misfits and oddballs, but their faithful ringleader Israel (Giorgio Tirabassi) they’ve set their sights on shutting down these sideshows, emigrating to America, and opening up shop again for the good people of the United States.  Before they can set said, Israel – a Jew – is captured whilst away from his team trying to arrange transport, and – you guessed it – these four accept the mission to stop the train hauling their spiritual father figure back to Germany where he’ll face incarceration and death.
 
In fairness, there’s a lot more to the story as plotted out by Nicola Guaglianone and Gabriele Mainetti’s wonderful but occasionally dark script.  (Mainetti also directs here.)  Whilst Fulvio, Cencio, and Mario are inevitably abducted by Franz’s minions with their abilities tested by the Reich’s ‘scientists,’ Matilde finds herself rescued and adopted up by a motley crew of Italian freedom fighters committed to ridding their country of the Nazi menace once and for all.  Once they learn of her ‘shocking’ abilities with electricity but she refuses to use her powers for resistance, the young lady is of little use to them.  Inevitably, the paths of the team converge, leaving Franz to believe that these four are, indeed, tied to his Nostradamus-style dreams; and he sets out to convince the Reich that they might be the key to Germany’s survival.
 
It's a complicated plot, and Mainetti stages most of it with the kind of visual flourish one would expect from any imaginative yarn.  At over two hours, the picture suffers in spots from pacing issues – some sequences stretch on a bit longer than absolutely necessary – and a trim here and there might’ve tightened up the pulse even when the focus shifts to quieter moments.  Also, I’d argue that the flick’s audiences might have grown a bit uncomfortable with some of the more adult humor, especially given the overall ‘magical’ tone more commonly tied to kiddy fare: for example, Mario is prone to – ahem – masturbating when he’s nervous, and I daresay some parents might’ve grimaced with something so mature taking place in a film that’s largely popcorn entertainment.  And because there are Nazis there are definitely some scenes involving heavy action, a bit of bloodshed, and some gruesome deaths.
 
But as adult fare?
 
Despite a bit of creative bloat, Freaks kept my attention and served up solid performances, fantastic visuals, and a compelling journey that should keep those who find it equally fascinated with mirth, mayhem, and magic.
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Lastly, I’d be remiss in my duties as steward of promoting ‘All Things Genre’ if I failed to mention that Freaks has enjoyed an incredible run of earning praise and advanced attention on the film festival circuit … a development that is of no surprise to this viewer.  The picture has racked up both wins and deserved nominations for its effects, costumes, music, production, acting, and direction … just about any and every element of it has been recognized in some way, and that alone demonstrates that this one just might be worth a bit of time and attention for as wide an audience as it can find.
 
Freaks Vs. The Reich (aka Freaks Out) (2021) was produced by Goon Films, Lucky Red, Rai Cinema, and a few other participating partners.  (If you’re that interested in those details, then check out the fully listing on IMDB.com.)  DVD distribution (for this particular release) is being coordinated by the good people at VMI Releasing.  As for the technical specifications?  Wowza.  This 141-minute Fantasy looks incredible from start-to-finish, and I can imagine no expense was spared in bringing this visual thriller to bold cinematic life.  Lastly, if you’re looking for special features?  Alas, I was only provided a streaming link, folks, so I’ve got absolutely nothing to add on that front.
 
Highly recommended.
 
In total, unbridled honestly, I’ll admit to having more fun with Freaks Vs. The Reich than perhaps I’ve had in quite some time, especially with the fact that – in no small way – this fits the bill of about as high quality, interesting, and well-done Superhero-style origins film in the past few years.  While its subject matter and circumstances might not have the family-friendly atmosphere that the Marvel and DC entries have adopted adopted (and run into the ground, some might suggest), I’d strongly encourage anyone penning scripts for that particular market take a long and serious look at what Freaks accomplishes narratively.  It’s definitely quite magical, though I’d stop short at endorsing it for young viewers as the violence gets pretty heavy and overwhelming in the last reel.
 
In the interests of fairness, I’m pleased to disclose that the fine folks at VMI Releasing provided me with complimentary streaming access of Freaks Vs. The Reich (2021) by request for the expressed purposes of completing this review; and their contribution to me in no way, shape, or form influenced my opinion of it.

​-- EZ