Folks, it’s been quite some time since I’ve had the opportunity to review a bit of something different – namely, a Japanese genre release with pornographic undertones – but you guessed it! Today’s the day! Buckle up, readers! Things are about to get steamy in here!
Without going into a whole new level of education, let me politely summarize that the Japanese film machine generally doesn’t produce a vast array of adult films – called ‘Pink’ or ‘Pinku’ in the native country – but there are a handful of independent studios that have (cough cough) “made bank” with any number of features exploiting what men and women might do in private. Those far more learned than me in this whole sub-culture of film production can speaks at length about the stylistic differences between, say, Western and Eastern pornography; but I’ve avoided a great deal of these pictures not because I’m a prude (I’m not!) but it’s been my experience that few of them incorporate Science Fiction, Fantasy, and Horror into the plot. (Yes, I’m aware that anime embraces them to varying levels; but I’m chiefly dealing with live-action whatnot at this juncture.) So while I’m no expert much less a casual connoisseur, I do request the occasional picture that does cross into such territory, and that’s the case today.
Of course, a name like Sexy S.W.A.T. Team (1998) might conjure up any number of notions as to what a viewer might expect; and yet the truth is that this S.W.A.T. is quite tame by all standards. Not a single bullet is fired – can’t say the same for the (ahem) male instruments in question – and the violence is all very low key. In fact, all it really has going for it thematically is a modestly clever idea and a run-time (just under 60 minutes) that makes all of its blemishes forgivable.
(NOTE: The following review will contain minor spoilers necessary solely for the discussion of plot and/or characters. If you’re the type of reader who prefers a review entirely spoiler-free, then I’d encourage you to skip down to the last few paragraphs for the final assessment. If, however, you’re accepting of a few modest hints at ‘things to come,’ then read on …)
From the film’s IMDB.com page citation:
“Red alert! A crime wave of women-groping perverts has flooded the Tokyo train system, and only a special all-female undercover police task force can stop it! The common clue is that all of the victims see a strobing red light before they find themselves on the receiving end of public, sexual humiliation! Asses will be grabbed! Breasts will be kneaded! And crotches will be sniffed! All in (a day’s work – or –) the course of duty, for the Sexy SWAT Team!”
Well, if you’ve made it this far, then let me assure you that this earnest distraction going by the name of Sexy S.W.A.T. Team is, truly, only mildly sexy at best. Of course, the women are fabulous to look at when they’re doing what they do – with clothes on or without – but it’s the witty concept that might tickle one’s funny bone more than anything salacious in here.
Without going into a whole new level of education, let me politely summarize that the Japanese film machine generally doesn’t produce a vast array of adult films – called ‘Pink’ or ‘Pinku’ in the native country – but there are a handful of independent studios that have (cough cough) “made bank” with any number of features exploiting what men and women might do in private. Those far more learned than me in this whole sub-culture of film production can speaks at length about the stylistic differences between, say, Western and Eastern pornography; but I’ve avoided a great deal of these pictures not because I’m a prude (I’m not!) but it’s been my experience that few of them incorporate Science Fiction, Fantasy, and Horror into the plot. (Yes, I’m aware that anime embraces them to varying levels; but I’m chiefly dealing with live-action whatnot at this juncture.) So while I’m no expert much less a casual connoisseur, I do request the occasional picture that does cross into such territory, and that’s the case today.
Of course, a name like Sexy S.W.A.T. Team (1998) might conjure up any number of notions as to what a viewer might expect; and yet the truth is that this S.W.A.T. is quite tame by all standards. Not a single bullet is fired – can’t say the same for the (ahem) male instruments in question – and the violence is all very low key. In fact, all it really has going for it thematically is a modestly clever idea and a run-time (just under 60 minutes) that makes all of its blemishes forgivable.
(NOTE: The following review will contain minor spoilers necessary solely for the discussion of plot and/or characters. If you’re the type of reader who prefers a review entirely spoiler-free, then I’d encourage you to skip down to the last few paragraphs for the final assessment. If, however, you’re accepting of a few modest hints at ‘things to come,’ then read on …)
From the film’s IMDB.com page citation:
“Red alert! A crime wave of women-groping perverts has flooded the Tokyo train system, and only a special all-female undercover police task force can stop it! The common clue is that all of the victims see a strobing red light before they find themselves on the receiving end of public, sexual humiliation! Asses will be grabbed! Breasts will be kneaded! And crotches will be sniffed! All in (a day’s work – or –) the course of duty, for the Sexy SWAT Team!”
Well, if you’ve made it this far, then let me assure you that this earnest distraction going by the name of Sexy S.W.A.T. Team is, truly, only mildly sexy at best. Of course, the women are fabulous to look at when they’re doing what they do – with clothes on or without – but it’s the witty concept that might tickle one’s funny bone more than anything salacious in here.
Working privately at the Brain Wave Institute, Dr. Smith has constructed the ultimate behavioral modification weapon. He’s broken the barriers of Erotic Science by producing a pistol that fires a laser beam that positively affects the area of the brain that controls the female sex drive, turning an ordinarily chaste woman into a woman lothario of sorts. Seeking sexual gratification, the afflicted will stop at nothing to see her appetite properly sated, no matter if the setting is public or private. Once he has tested his new device on the luscious lab assistants who’ve rejected his advances, he now realizes that he can unleash such abhorrent technology on any woman-at-large … and that’s precisely what his assistant does!
Now, S.W.A.T. doesn’t go to any great lengths to define this world or its characters. Fundamentally, this nifty little ray-gun-style machine is little more than a MacGuffin that’s employed strategically for the cast to – cough cough – ‘get it on,’ and, yes, they do here and there for largely more entertainment purposes than they do making cinematic history. Seriously, all of this is done very tongue-in-cheek (I said TONGUE-IN-CHEEK, you perverts), and absolutely none of this is to be taken critically. Once you realize that this – cough cough – special female-led division of the Tokyo police department operates out of what looks to be little more than a second-floor apartment in any big city tenement building, it becomes clear that this is all for laughs … and maybe even a little heavy breathing.
As for the – ahem – sensual particulars?
Even in that estimation, there’s not all that much to write home about. S.W.A.T. being a product of the late 1990’s, I can assure you that a great deal of vastly more controversial projects had come out of Japan in the previous decade or two; and this one – other than its obvious camp appeal – is kinda/sorta disappointing. The couplings are all very, very, very conventional (not that I’m complaining about conventional), and they only serve to advance a rather obvious joke that does pay-off in the final moments. But when your film’s closing bits include the cast all standing around and/or dancing for their respective sequences in the end credits, it’s unmistakably clear that you weren’t supposed to take any of this as anything other than one big joke.
Sexy S.W.A.T. Team (aka Onna chikan sôsakan: Oshiri de shôbu!) (1998) was produced by Shintoho Company. DVD distribution (for this particular release) has been coordinated by the fine folks at Sacrament and Kino Lorber. As for the technical specifications? While I’m no trained video expert, I’m willing to venture a guess that this tasty affair was likely shot on home video; and there’s a respectable degree of what I’ll call ‘modest definition’ to the entire production. It ain’t bad; it’s just a touch inferior. Lastly, if you’re looking for special features? Well, the disc includes some production stills, but that’s about all you have to tide you over until the next time, folks. Yes, it’s a bit disappointing.
Alas … only Mildly Recommended.
I haven’t had the pleasure of seeing nearly as many Japanese Pinku movies as clearly some have, but with a name like Sexy S.W.A.T. Team (1998) I guess I just expected more. Granted, a few flicks I have reviewed have been vastly more subversive in nature, leaving S.W.A.T. incredibly tame by comparison. A few bloated make-up and groping sequences don’t really do much more than to raise the blood pressure a few ticks; and each of the finishes leave far too much to one’s imagination. What is this, director Watanabe? Sesame Street? I’ve seen more skin at the corner WalMart!
In the interests of fairness, I’m pleased to disclose that the fine folks at Kino Lorber provided me with a complimentary DVD of Sexy S.W.A.T. Team (1998) by request for the expressed purpose of completing this review. Their contribution to me in no way, shape, or form influenced my opinion of it.
-- EZ
Now, S.W.A.T. doesn’t go to any great lengths to define this world or its characters. Fundamentally, this nifty little ray-gun-style machine is little more than a MacGuffin that’s employed strategically for the cast to – cough cough – ‘get it on,’ and, yes, they do here and there for largely more entertainment purposes than they do making cinematic history. Seriously, all of this is done very tongue-in-cheek (I said TONGUE-IN-CHEEK, you perverts), and absolutely none of this is to be taken critically. Once you realize that this – cough cough – special female-led division of the Tokyo police department operates out of what looks to be little more than a second-floor apartment in any big city tenement building, it becomes clear that this is all for laughs … and maybe even a little heavy breathing.
As for the – ahem – sensual particulars?
Even in that estimation, there’s not all that much to write home about. S.W.A.T. being a product of the late 1990’s, I can assure you that a great deal of vastly more controversial projects had come out of Japan in the previous decade or two; and this one – other than its obvious camp appeal – is kinda/sorta disappointing. The couplings are all very, very, very conventional (not that I’m complaining about conventional), and they only serve to advance a rather obvious joke that does pay-off in the final moments. But when your film’s closing bits include the cast all standing around and/or dancing for their respective sequences in the end credits, it’s unmistakably clear that you weren’t supposed to take any of this as anything other than one big joke.
Sexy S.W.A.T. Team (aka Onna chikan sôsakan: Oshiri de shôbu!) (1998) was produced by Shintoho Company. DVD distribution (for this particular release) has been coordinated by the fine folks at Sacrament and Kino Lorber. As for the technical specifications? While I’m no trained video expert, I’m willing to venture a guess that this tasty affair was likely shot on home video; and there’s a respectable degree of what I’ll call ‘modest definition’ to the entire production. It ain’t bad; it’s just a touch inferior. Lastly, if you’re looking for special features? Well, the disc includes some production stills, but that’s about all you have to tide you over until the next time, folks. Yes, it’s a bit disappointing.
Alas … only Mildly Recommended.
I haven’t had the pleasure of seeing nearly as many Japanese Pinku movies as clearly some have, but with a name like Sexy S.W.A.T. Team (1998) I guess I just expected more. Granted, a few flicks I have reviewed have been vastly more subversive in nature, leaving S.W.A.T. incredibly tame by comparison. A few bloated make-up and groping sequences don’t really do much more than to raise the blood pressure a few ticks; and each of the finishes leave far too much to one’s imagination. What is this, director Watanabe? Sesame Street? I’ve seen more skin at the corner WalMart!
In the interests of fairness, I’m pleased to disclose that the fine folks at Kino Lorber provided me with a complimentary DVD of Sexy S.W.A.T. Team (1998) by request for the expressed purpose of completing this review. Their contribution to me in no way, shape, or form influenced my opinion of it.
-- EZ
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