Back in the late, great 1980’s, I worked in video retail. In fact, it was one of my first jobs of record.
The small chain I was employed by had a handful of locations across one big city in the Midwest, and they – ahem – prided themselves on being one of the first outlets to provide rentals for a rather impressively large volume of – ahem ahem – Adult video titles. No, these weren’t out on the floor amongst the mainstream inventory, but each location maintained this back room wherein customers could browse the slipcases in privacy, looking for whatever opus explored their respective appetites. To my surprise, it was a popular attraction for some consumers, and I suspect a good time was had by all. (Snicker snicker)
In any event, I bring this up because one of this chain’s selling points was that employees were encouraged to – ahem again – watch our potential releases so that they could effectively recommended something from our growing catalogue for customers seeking a hot pick. Rather than push this requirement onto every employee’s shoulders, the recruiter rather smartly sought out a candidate who had such knowledge beforehand, thus keeping the rest of the staff free to concern themselves with more conventional fare. So I got to know this one faithful associate – we’ll call him ‘Chuck’ to protect his identity – fairly well while working there, and he definitely had some curious video tastes.
Now, it just so happens that Chuck was a huge fan of actress, comedienne, and all-around temptress Cassandra Peterson, the lovely lady better known to so many as Elvira. In fact, her ‘Mistress of the Dark’ personae wasn’t all that old back at the time – it was created in 1981 for what I understand to have been a California television station’s Horror-themed overnight program – but Chuck had seen her live in Las Vegas and had followed her career closely. He was a rapid fan of her work, loved the lady (snicker snicker) for her personality, and talked about her constantly. While I wouldn’t call her the man’s obsession, it was still clear that he was smitten with the woman’s charms, and who could blame him?
Naturally, Chuck was the kind of employee who recommended 1988’s Elvira: Mistress Of The Dark video release when it hit the store shelves. I watched it entirely on the strength of his endorsement back then; and though I wasn’t completely won over – comedy is a hard sell for yours truly no matter whose pushing punchlines much less hemlines – I still confessed that Peterson knew exactly what she was doing and did it well. Only mildly subversive but in a crowd-pleasing sort of fashion, the actress cultivated a dark madame of macabre mayhem that could be appreciated by young(ish) and old alike; and I’m thrilled to revisit this imperfect, offbeat camp classic today compliments of the kind folks at Arrow Films.
The small chain I was employed by had a handful of locations across one big city in the Midwest, and they – ahem – prided themselves on being one of the first outlets to provide rentals for a rather impressively large volume of – ahem ahem – Adult video titles. No, these weren’t out on the floor amongst the mainstream inventory, but each location maintained this back room wherein customers could browse the slipcases in privacy, looking for whatever opus explored their respective appetites. To my surprise, it was a popular attraction for some consumers, and I suspect a good time was had by all. (Snicker snicker)
In any event, I bring this up because one of this chain’s selling points was that employees were encouraged to – ahem again – watch our potential releases so that they could effectively recommended something from our growing catalogue for customers seeking a hot pick. Rather than push this requirement onto every employee’s shoulders, the recruiter rather smartly sought out a candidate who had such knowledge beforehand, thus keeping the rest of the staff free to concern themselves with more conventional fare. So I got to know this one faithful associate – we’ll call him ‘Chuck’ to protect his identity – fairly well while working there, and he definitely had some curious video tastes.
Now, it just so happens that Chuck was a huge fan of actress, comedienne, and all-around temptress Cassandra Peterson, the lovely lady better known to so many as Elvira. In fact, her ‘Mistress of the Dark’ personae wasn’t all that old back at the time – it was created in 1981 for what I understand to have been a California television station’s Horror-themed overnight program – but Chuck had seen her live in Las Vegas and had followed her career closely. He was a rapid fan of her work, loved the lady (snicker snicker) for her personality, and talked about her constantly. While I wouldn’t call her the man’s obsession, it was still clear that he was smitten with the woman’s charms, and who could blame him?
Naturally, Chuck was the kind of employee who recommended 1988’s Elvira: Mistress Of The Dark video release when it hit the store shelves. I watched it entirely on the strength of his endorsement back then; and though I wasn’t completely won over – comedy is a hard sell for yours truly no matter whose pushing punchlines much less hemlines – I still confessed that Peterson knew exactly what she was doing and did it well. Only mildly subversive but in a crowd-pleasing sort of fashion, the actress cultivated a dark madame of macabre mayhem that could be appreciated by young(ish) and old alike; and I’m thrilled to revisit this imperfect, offbeat camp classic today compliments of the kind folks at Arrow Films.
(NOTE: The following review will contain minor spoilers necessary solely for the discussion of plot and/or characters. If you’re the type of reader who prefers a review entirely spoiler-free, then I’d encourage you to skip down to the last few paragraphs for the final assessment. If, however, you’re accepting of a few modest hints at ‘things to come,’ then read on …)
From the film’s IMDB.com page citation:
“Upon arriving in a small town where Elvira has inherited a rundown mansion, the famous horror host must battle an evil uncle, and townspeople who want her burned at the stake.”
As much as I like to laugh – and I do like to laugh – I’m probably one of the harshest critics when it comes to evaluating comedies. I’ve often written in this space about how humor doesn’t always mesh well with genre releases; and – as a practice – I do tend to keep my coverage of such titles to a minimum. While there’s nothing wrong with ragging a bit on how some jokes just don’t quite work, I don’t like feeling as if I’m piling on in any respect regarding any project’s shortcomings or deficiencies. So I do tend to leave that stuff to others who are a bit more generous than I’d be.
I realize that isn’t exactly a great place to start my evaluation of Elvira: Mistress Of The Dark – the 1988 theatrical celebration of Peterson’s winning alter ego in a Horror/Comedy send-up on East Coast smalltown dynamics – but I do try to remain true to my readership. Though this one isn’t the kind of flick I’d probably put in the DVD tray for giggles’ sake, I’ll still confess that I’m fond enough of what the actress does in principle that I manage to have fun watching her … just not exactly for the same reasons every red-blooded American heterosexual male does. She’s funny. She’s goofy. She makes it easy to both laugh at her as she does with her. Yeah, you might get motion sickness over the number times you’ll be rolling your eyes, but – as they say – it is what it is.
Struggling to find her big break, Elvira is hoping and praying that a prime stage gig in Las Vegas will finally raise her professional spirits. When her manager finally secures some good news, he also has to deliver a bit of the bad: a strip venue is willing to give the ample-bodied vamp a shot up in the lights, but she’s going to have to cough up $50,000 to help sponsor the timeslot or they can’t justify taking a chance on a veritable unknown. It is the Sin City, after all, and although Elvira has a body perfectly built for sin, profits are still required on the bottom line.
From the film’s IMDB.com page citation:
“Upon arriving in a small town where Elvira has inherited a rundown mansion, the famous horror host must battle an evil uncle, and townspeople who want her burned at the stake.”
As much as I like to laugh – and I do like to laugh – I’m probably one of the harshest critics when it comes to evaluating comedies. I’ve often written in this space about how humor doesn’t always mesh well with genre releases; and – as a practice – I do tend to keep my coverage of such titles to a minimum. While there’s nothing wrong with ragging a bit on how some jokes just don’t quite work, I don’t like feeling as if I’m piling on in any respect regarding any project’s shortcomings or deficiencies. So I do tend to leave that stuff to others who are a bit more generous than I’d be.
I realize that isn’t exactly a great place to start my evaluation of Elvira: Mistress Of The Dark – the 1988 theatrical celebration of Peterson’s winning alter ego in a Horror/Comedy send-up on East Coast smalltown dynamics – but I do try to remain true to my readership. Though this one isn’t the kind of flick I’d probably put in the DVD tray for giggles’ sake, I’ll still confess that I’m fond enough of what the actress does in principle that I manage to have fun watching her … just not exactly for the same reasons every red-blooded American heterosexual male does. She’s funny. She’s goofy. She makes it easy to both laugh at her as she does with her. Yeah, you might get motion sickness over the number times you’ll be rolling your eyes, but – as they say – it is what it is.
Struggling to find her big break, Elvira is hoping and praying that a prime stage gig in Las Vegas will finally raise her professional spirits. When her manager finally secures some good news, he also has to deliver a bit of the bad: a strip venue is willing to give the ample-bodied vamp a shot up in the lights, but she’s going to have to cough up $50,000 to help sponsor the timeslot or they can’t justify taking a chance on a veritable unknown. It is the Sin City, after all, and although Elvira has a body perfectly built for sin, profits are still required on the bottom line.
Lady Luck inevitably smiles on the comely lass when a surprise inheritance from a distant aunt her never forget about her arrives to save the day. She packs up her only belongings and heads out to Fallwell, Massachusetts – an obvious swipe at the late TV evangelist Jerry Falwell – for a reading of the will. Once there, she learns that there isn’t exactly big bucks to be had, but there is a spooky mansion that – if dressed up properly – might bring her more than enough cash to chase that Vegas dream. However, what’s all this fuss about her aunt’s missing old book?
So much of Mistress Of The Dark is a throwback to vastly simpler storytelling, the likes of which used to be commonplace in Comedies of the 1930’s and 1940’s. Reminiscent of vaudeville, the setups and deliveries can be seen coming from miles away, but that doesn’t necessarily reduce the impact of hearing such cunning barbs and quick rejoinders when they’re packaged as boldly as they are with Peterson. She’s built like a Playboy centerfold, but she wraps it all in tantalizing Gothic charm; and it’s the kind of combination that either works or it doesn’t. With so little wiggle room, it’s another added plus that – ahem – Peterson is so fetching providing the requisite wiggle.
Essentially, the film’s comedy works as an exploration of moral opposites.
Those stuffed-shirts old prudes just won’t stand for Elvira’s burgeoning display of butts and boobs, so it’s very easy to see where the jokes are both emerging, succeeding, and failing. After all, Fallwell has a reputation for moral purity, and the dark lady’s arrival might well be treated as one of the signs of the Biblical Apocalypse for that matter, so it’s only natural that these forces come into collision. Instinctively, the local youths are captivated with the free-speaking and bodice-busting babe, and all of the resulting mayhem puts the lady understandably on track to be labelled an incarnation of the modern witch who might very well bring about a return to those antics that helped put Salem, Massachusetts in all of the history books. Wood gets piled, torches get lit, and the town elders rise up to take matters into their own hands, nearly succumbing to their own madness. Only Elvira’s late-breaking discovery that she, indeed, has a bit of magic up her proverbial sleeve ultimately saves the day.
To some degree, I do find it sad that more entertainers haven’t quite latched onto the opening for some broad albeit lazy Comedy to fill the consumers diet. Though the format is vastly outdated, it’s still the kind of schtick audiences take to her and there; and it’s especially refreshing to know that such double entendre are never quite ‘out of style’ amongst some viewers. That niche could be filled – and Horror/Comedy hybrids would be the perfect vehicle – and yet we’ve become a society wherein vanity projects like this just don’t happen all that much any longer. The fact that Elvira remains a force in the business decades later even though her material could’ve been written even decades earlier proves that some needs still aren’t being properly serviced; so here’s hoping such camp never disappears from us culturally.
So much of Mistress Of The Dark is a throwback to vastly simpler storytelling, the likes of which used to be commonplace in Comedies of the 1930’s and 1940’s. Reminiscent of vaudeville, the setups and deliveries can be seen coming from miles away, but that doesn’t necessarily reduce the impact of hearing such cunning barbs and quick rejoinders when they’re packaged as boldly as they are with Peterson. She’s built like a Playboy centerfold, but she wraps it all in tantalizing Gothic charm; and it’s the kind of combination that either works or it doesn’t. With so little wiggle room, it’s another added plus that – ahem – Peterson is so fetching providing the requisite wiggle.
Essentially, the film’s comedy works as an exploration of moral opposites.
Those stuffed-shirts old prudes just won’t stand for Elvira’s burgeoning display of butts and boobs, so it’s very easy to see where the jokes are both emerging, succeeding, and failing. After all, Fallwell has a reputation for moral purity, and the dark lady’s arrival might well be treated as one of the signs of the Biblical Apocalypse for that matter, so it’s only natural that these forces come into collision. Instinctively, the local youths are captivated with the free-speaking and bodice-busting babe, and all of the resulting mayhem puts the lady understandably on track to be labelled an incarnation of the modern witch who might very well bring about a return to those antics that helped put Salem, Massachusetts in all of the history books. Wood gets piled, torches get lit, and the town elders rise up to take matters into their own hands, nearly succumbing to their own madness. Only Elvira’s late-breaking discovery that she, indeed, has a bit of magic up her proverbial sleeve ultimately saves the day.
To some degree, I do find it sad that more entertainers haven’t quite latched onto the opening for some broad albeit lazy Comedy to fill the consumers diet. Though the format is vastly outdated, it’s still the kind of schtick audiences take to her and there; and it’s especially refreshing to know that such double entendre are never quite ‘out of style’ amongst some viewers. That niche could be filled – and Horror/Comedy hybrids would be the perfect vehicle – and yet we’ve become a society wherein vanity projects like this just don’t happen all that much any longer. The fact that Elvira remains a force in the business decades later even though her material could’ve been written even decades earlier proves that some needs still aren’t being properly serviced; so here’s hoping such camp never disappears from us culturally.
That said, Mistress is an uneven attempt, at best, and that’s being flattering on my part. What plot there is remains mostly an assembly of smaller sketches all very loosely heading in the same general direction – yes, Elvira eventually gets to realize her dreams as do the small cadre of young adult males she surrounds herself with – so kudos to all involved for, at the very least, staying the course. The film boasts mostly hammy performances all around, and there is a practical effect here and there that works in spite of the fact not an awful lot of money was spent in the process. Dare I suggest that any other face but Peterson’s would’ve killed Mistress’ prospects? It’s a match made in Heaven and Hell, and I’ll be ‘in my bunk’ trying to figure out which side was best served in the big finish.
Elvira: Mistress Of The Dark (1988) was produced by NBC Productions, New World Pictures, Panacea Entertainment, and Queen B Productions. DVD distribution (for this particular release) has been coordinated by the fine folks at Arrow Films. As for the technical specifications? While I’m no trained video expert, I found the provided sights-and-sounds to be quite good across the running time of this 90+ minute effort. Lastly, if you’re looking for Special Features? The disc boasts three audio commentaries – all interesting but only occasionally chatty, Peterson’s was the most entertaining for me – along with an even better documentary on the making-of and some little tidbits into the limited special effects. It’s a great collection that should keep fans engaged to the end.
Alas … only Mildly Recommended.
Folks, I consider myself a gentleman, so I’ll stop short of disparaging Elvira: Mistress Of The Dark (1988). While her obvious schtick just isn’t for me, the lovely Cassandra Peterson still embraces her own share of lunacy well enough to make all of it work even if all of the humor plays out like what ten-year-old boys might think a dirty joke or a sexual innuendo is supposed to be. She’s really all that works in this mess, and there’s nothing wrong with that. It is, after all, her picture. This is all low-brow (not an insult) and mildly titillating (pun most definitely intended), and I suspect those who embrace that kind of farce know what they’re getting in the process. When your grand finale amounts to – ahem – spinning nipple tassels in opposite directions on the Vegas stage (not complaining) for all to see, then we’ve left Scorsese behind in favor of the confines wherein Russ Meyer might take his shot at Oscar gold.
In the interests of fairness, I’m pleased to disclose that the fine folks at Arrow Films provided me with a complimentary Blu-ray copy of Elvira: Mistress Of The Dark (1988) by request for the expressed purpose of completing this review. Their contribution to me in no way, shape, or form influenced my opinion of it.
-- EZ
Elvira: Mistress Of The Dark (1988) was produced by NBC Productions, New World Pictures, Panacea Entertainment, and Queen B Productions. DVD distribution (for this particular release) has been coordinated by the fine folks at Arrow Films. As for the technical specifications? While I’m no trained video expert, I found the provided sights-and-sounds to be quite good across the running time of this 90+ minute effort. Lastly, if you’re looking for Special Features? The disc boasts three audio commentaries – all interesting but only occasionally chatty, Peterson’s was the most entertaining for me – along with an even better documentary on the making-of and some little tidbits into the limited special effects. It’s a great collection that should keep fans engaged to the end.
Alas … only Mildly Recommended.
Folks, I consider myself a gentleman, so I’ll stop short of disparaging Elvira: Mistress Of The Dark (1988). While her obvious schtick just isn’t for me, the lovely Cassandra Peterson still embraces her own share of lunacy well enough to make all of it work even if all of the humor plays out like what ten-year-old boys might think a dirty joke or a sexual innuendo is supposed to be. She’s really all that works in this mess, and there’s nothing wrong with that. It is, after all, her picture. This is all low-brow (not an insult) and mildly titillating (pun most definitely intended), and I suspect those who embrace that kind of farce know what they’re getting in the process. When your grand finale amounts to – ahem – spinning nipple tassels in opposite directions on the Vegas stage (not complaining) for all to see, then we’ve left Scorsese behind in favor of the confines wherein Russ Meyer might take his shot at Oscar gold.
In the interests of fairness, I’m pleased to disclose that the fine folks at Arrow Films provided me with a complimentary Blu-ray copy of Elvira: Mistress Of The Dark (1988) by request for the expressed purpose of completing this review. Their contribution to me in no way, shape, or form influenced my opinion of it.
-- EZ
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