Folks – and I do mean this – you probably won’t find a fanboy who is as faithful to independent cinema as I am.
No, no, and no: this doesn’t mean that I like all or even that much of what I watch. The point I’m trying to make is that I’ve always found a measure of joy in exploring what writers, directors, producers, actors, actresses and more can accomplish on a budget. I’ve seen some truly inspired works – ones that showed so much promise I sincerely hope that those involved were given an even better opportunity to break through the noise with their next production – and I’ve seen some truly insipid garbage. Regardless, both ends of that spectrum have had stories to tell. I may not have agreed with those tales. I may not have given some sterling endorsements. But at the end of the day I find I sleep easier at night knowing that I’m always willing to take a chance if for no other reason that I might find a ‘diamond in the rough’ worth passing along to the readership. It’s just how I’m wired. Always been. Always will be.
Ahem.
Now, don’t take that clarification in any way to imply that Cocaine Werewolf (2024) is something I’m willing to give a thumbs up or throw cold water on. Succinctly, it’s an attempt at capturing B- or even C-Movie glory, and yet … well … it has its issues, meaning that some of those blemishes are probably a bit too big to overcome despite the best efforts of everyone involved. My biggest concern with it is that it never quite finds a tapestry worth spinning – good ideas get held back by either inferior ones or the lack of budget – so let’s accept the fact that this is one attempt that likely will get better once its rediscovered and given a bit more elbow grease in a redux.
(NOTE: The following review will contain minor spoilers necessary solely for the discussion of plot and/or characters. If you’re the type of reader who prefers a review entirely spoiler-free, then I’d encourage you to skip down to the last few paragraphs for the final assessment. If, however, you’re accepting of a few modest hints at ‘things to come,’ then read on …)
From the film’s IMDB.com page citation:
“Cocaine, Cash and a Crew filming a horror movie in the mysterious woods of northern Pennsylvania clash when an unexpected visit from a Werewolf literally enters the picture. Cult film Master Mark Polonia - with nearly 100 film credits on his resume - delivers quite possibly his most entertaining venture to date, with a Gothic Industrial Rock soundtrack (courtesy of Cleopatra Records) perfectly setting the mood for one wild and crazy ‘howling at the moon!’”
It's been suggested that the reason why mainstream audiences kinda/sorta balk at B-Movies is that – ahem – they don’t understand B-Movies. I’ve always found that assessment a lot of bunk because, frankly, it doesn’t take a whole lot of gray matter to comprehend just about anything and everything that’s going on within the limited structure of a B-Movie, so why take a cheap shot at the audience by implying that they’re just not in on the joke? Maybe – dare I say? – they just don’t find it funny.
Such might be the trouble with Cocaine Werewolf. If you show up thinking that you’ve got a B-Movie wolf feature waiting, then you’ll likely be disappointed because – shocker – it isn’t the full moon that drives this haunted man to become an American Werewolf in … well … the greater backcountry of New York State. Here, it’s the china moon. It’s the flake. It’s the sugar. It’s the snow. It’s the snooze. It’s the white rock. It’s the nose candy.
You catch me, homey?
So … basically … it’s the cocaine.
Jack is a stock trader who – well, aside from this current predicament – is living his best life. On his way to the Big Apple in (apparently) the smallest Uber available, he finds his driver dead in some garage in the sticks, where the local werewolf has taken a shine to the apache. The big c. The scotty. The zip. (Still, the cocaine.) So when Jack gets bitten by the lycanthrope, he, too, is suddenly able to shift between man and wolf with little more than a single whiff of the apache, the the love affair, the Mexican Percocet. With no means to complete his journey and collect on those stocks waiting to be traded, Jack instead opts to live out his days roaming the mostly urban countryside in search of good blow and red blood.
See what I mean?
No, no, and no: this doesn’t mean that I like all or even that much of what I watch. The point I’m trying to make is that I’ve always found a measure of joy in exploring what writers, directors, producers, actors, actresses and more can accomplish on a budget. I’ve seen some truly inspired works – ones that showed so much promise I sincerely hope that those involved were given an even better opportunity to break through the noise with their next production – and I’ve seen some truly insipid garbage. Regardless, both ends of that spectrum have had stories to tell. I may not have agreed with those tales. I may not have given some sterling endorsements. But at the end of the day I find I sleep easier at night knowing that I’m always willing to take a chance if for no other reason that I might find a ‘diamond in the rough’ worth passing along to the readership. It’s just how I’m wired. Always been. Always will be.
Ahem.
Now, don’t take that clarification in any way to imply that Cocaine Werewolf (2024) is something I’m willing to give a thumbs up or throw cold water on. Succinctly, it’s an attempt at capturing B- or even C-Movie glory, and yet … well … it has its issues, meaning that some of those blemishes are probably a bit too big to overcome despite the best efforts of everyone involved. My biggest concern with it is that it never quite finds a tapestry worth spinning – good ideas get held back by either inferior ones or the lack of budget – so let’s accept the fact that this is one attempt that likely will get better once its rediscovered and given a bit more elbow grease in a redux.
(NOTE: The following review will contain minor spoilers necessary solely for the discussion of plot and/or characters. If you’re the type of reader who prefers a review entirely spoiler-free, then I’d encourage you to skip down to the last few paragraphs for the final assessment. If, however, you’re accepting of a few modest hints at ‘things to come,’ then read on …)
From the film’s IMDB.com page citation:
“Cocaine, Cash and a Crew filming a horror movie in the mysterious woods of northern Pennsylvania clash when an unexpected visit from a Werewolf literally enters the picture. Cult film Master Mark Polonia - with nearly 100 film credits on his resume - delivers quite possibly his most entertaining venture to date, with a Gothic Industrial Rock soundtrack (courtesy of Cleopatra Records) perfectly setting the mood for one wild and crazy ‘howling at the moon!’”
It's been suggested that the reason why mainstream audiences kinda/sorta balk at B-Movies is that – ahem – they don’t understand B-Movies. I’ve always found that assessment a lot of bunk because, frankly, it doesn’t take a whole lot of gray matter to comprehend just about anything and everything that’s going on within the limited structure of a B-Movie, so why take a cheap shot at the audience by implying that they’re just not in on the joke? Maybe – dare I say? – they just don’t find it funny.
Such might be the trouble with Cocaine Werewolf. If you show up thinking that you’ve got a B-Movie wolf feature waiting, then you’ll likely be disappointed because – shocker – it isn’t the full moon that drives this haunted man to become an American Werewolf in … well … the greater backcountry of New York State. Here, it’s the china moon. It’s the flake. It’s the sugar. It’s the snow. It’s the snooze. It’s the white rock. It’s the nose candy.
You catch me, homey?
So … basically … it’s the cocaine.
Jack is a stock trader who – well, aside from this current predicament – is living his best life. On his way to the Big Apple in (apparently) the smallest Uber available, he finds his driver dead in some garage in the sticks, where the local werewolf has taken a shine to the apache. The big c. The scotty. The zip. (Still, the cocaine.) So when Jack gets bitten by the lycanthrope, he, too, is suddenly able to shift between man and wolf with little more than a single whiff of the apache, the the love affair, the Mexican Percocet. With no means to complete his journey and collect on those stocks waiting to be traded, Jack instead opts to live out his days roaming the mostly urban countryside in search of good blow and red blood.
See what I mean?
Grasping the central premise behind Cocaine Werewolf isn’t all that much a stretch. What I explained above is essentially all one need know … well, that and the fact that this was put together on-the-fly with probably acting talent just a smidge out of reach of small-town community theater’s good graces. No one can act – again, my review, my opinion – and it shows. Terribly, in some places. Horrifically in others. It adds to the atmosphere, delivering some of the flick’s better but probably unintended laughs.
Still, that’s the joy most viewers find in B-, C-, and even D-Movie bargain basement tomfoolery. None of it – or exceedingly little – is meant to be taken seriously. The script – credited to Ford Austin and Tyger Torrez – was likely thrown together over a weekend bender; and Mark Polonia – an auteur with a reputation for such schtick – was probably all-too-happy to slice, dice, and splice whatever budget was necessary to bring this one to life. I’ve absolutely no doubt that a good time was had by all; and, yes, that includes those who got together to assemble it. Don’t be surprised if you learn that they’re all still laughing over it today.
As for the completed project?
Well, as I stated above, I’ve seen more than my share of small and micro-budgeted features.
While Cocaine Werewolf doesn’t quite rise to the level of zaniness I expected from such a title, a scene or two has the occasional vibe that might give it a shelf life beyond a single viewing. Given the literal explosion of low-cost content available online – much of it available for free or nearly so – I’m honestly a bit surprised that something like this was still being attempted. The 1980’s and early 1990’s saw a great deal of it churned out for mass consumption; and a lot of that disappeared as the turn of the century put camcorders in the hands of anyone with a smartphone. Certainly, Cocaine makes use of similar technology – its special effects are a bit laughable and are no doubt the best APP money can buy – but you kinda/sorta know what you’re going to get with a project like this. A few practical creature effects do give it some minor zing, but I suspect those who might enjoy this best are those inebriated by whatever controlled substance tickles your fancy most.
Not that there’s anything wrong with that …
Cocaine Werewolf (2024) was produced by Cleopatra Entertainment. DVD distribution (for this particular release) has been coordinated by the fine folks at MVD Visual Entertainment. As for the technical specifications? While I’m no trained video expert, I still found a great deal of the provided sights-and-sounds to be – actually – quite good. If shot digitally (as most things are these days), then this one benefits from looking better than it probably should. Lastly, if you’re looking for special features? The disc contains a director’s commentary along with the obligatory image gallery and theatrical trailer for those who like that sort of thing.
Alas … only barely recommended.
Look. I’ll confess to seeing a great deal of independent fare. I’ll also assure you that I’ve experienced perhaps more B-Movies than have many who pontificate about features online these days as most outlets have left the indie scene completely in the dust. Still, it’s hard to get behind a flick like Cocaine Werewolf because – as a story – it just meanders too much from here to there, offering no central performance to wrap one’s head around much less propel an authentic story forward from start to finish. I wanted to like this more than I did … but there’s a slim handful of worthwhile tidbits that I mentioned above. At best? Well, it’s only one hour and seventeen minutes long. And I do like monster movies. So there.
In the interests of fairness, I’m pleased to disclose that the fine folks at MVD Visual Entertainment provided me with a complimentary Blu-ray of Cocaine Werewolf (2024) by request for the expressed purpose of completing this review. Their contribution to me in no way, shape, or form influenced my opinion of it.
-- EZ
Still, that’s the joy most viewers find in B-, C-, and even D-Movie bargain basement tomfoolery. None of it – or exceedingly little – is meant to be taken seriously. The script – credited to Ford Austin and Tyger Torrez – was likely thrown together over a weekend bender; and Mark Polonia – an auteur with a reputation for such schtick – was probably all-too-happy to slice, dice, and splice whatever budget was necessary to bring this one to life. I’ve absolutely no doubt that a good time was had by all; and, yes, that includes those who got together to assemble it. Don’t be surprised if you learn that they’re all still laughing over it today.
As for the completed project?
Well, as I stated above, I’ve seen more than my share of small and micro-budgeted features.
While Cocaine Werewolf doesn’t quite rise to the level of zaniness I expected from such a title, a scene or two has the occasional vibe that might give it a shelf life beyond a single viewing. Given the literal explosion of low-cost content available online – much of it available for free or nearly so – I’m honestly a bit surprised that something like this was still being attempted. The 1980’s and early 1990’s saw a great deal of it churned out for mass consumption; and a lot of that disappeared as the turn of the century put camcorders in the hands of anyone with a smartphone. Certainly, Cocaine makes use of similar technology – its special effects are a bit laughable and are no doubt the best APP money can buy – but you kinda/sorta know what you’re going to get with a project like this. A few practical creature effects do give it some minor zing, but I suspect those who might enjoy this best are those inebriated by whatever controlled substance tickles your fancy most.
Not that there’s anything wrong with that …
Cocaine Werewolf (2024) was produced by Cleopatra Entertainment. DVD distribution (for this particular release) has been coordinated by the fine folks at MVD Visual Entertainment. As for the technical specifications? While I’m no trained video expert, I still found a great deal of the provided sights-and-sounds to be – actually – quite good. If shot digitally (as most things are these days), then this one benefits from looking better than it probably should. Lastly, if you’re looking for special features? The disc contains a director’s commentary along with the obligatory image gallery and theatrical trailer for those who like that sort of thing.
Alas … only barely recommended.
Look. I’ll confess to seeing a great deal of independent fare. I’ll also assure you that I’ve experienced perhaps more B-Movies than have many who pontificate about features online these days as most outlets have left the indie scene completely in the dust. Still, it’s hard to get behind a flick like Cocaine Werewolf because – as a story – it just meanders too much from here to there, offering no central performance to wrap one’s head around much less propel an authentic story forward from start to finish. I wanted to like this more than I did … but there’s a slim handful of worthwhile tidbits that I mentioned above. At best? Well, it’s only one hour and seventeen minutes long. And I do like monster movies. So there.
In the interests of fairness, I’m pleased to disclose that the fine folks at MVD Visual Entertainment provided me with a complimentary Blu-ray of Cocaine Werewolf (2024) by request for the expressed purpose of completing this review. Their contribution to me in no way, shape, or form influenced my opinion of it.
-- EZ
RSS Feed