Back in 2007, I courted a bit of controversy online when I made a suggestion involving the greater state of the SciFi (aka Syfy) Channel.
This was a message board (ask your parents, kids), and there were a group of us discussing with some disgust how SciFi’s routine Saturday Night Movies had devolved into a mostly messy assortment of bargain basement direct-to-consumer offerings with garbage storytelling, absolutely ridiculous special effects, and – in the words of others – “washed up” actors and actresses. (I disagreed most strongly on that last point, as I’ll almost always firmly argue that talent – good, bad, and ugly – always has a place … you just have to find it.) While everyone else was recommending a total overhaul of the network, I was only mildly consenting that some rework was absolutely necessary.
You see, Science Fiction and Fantasy have always been genres rich with sub-bar efforts. All anyone need do is watch a single episode of Mystery Science Theatre 3000 to know that genre fans will tune in to almost anything, and that’s because – unlike other swatches of enthusiasts – we’ll laugh at something inferior as entertainment. This is because long ago we realized that the wider entertainment industry doesn’t take a good deal of what we like seriously; and – as a consequence – we learned not to take ourselves and our movies as seriously, either. We’ll chuckle at a misstep. We’ll guffaw when a sequence goes wrong. And we don’t care who knows.
Well, back in 2007, Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez realized that the realms of the Fantastic needed a bit of a reminder of the fact; so – as part of Quentin’s Grindhouse project – they delivered us a little something-something called Planet Terror. The film was a throwback to the storytelling sensibilities of the 1970’s and early 80’s, and it featured a crew of motley survivors who’d stop at nothing to survive a zombie outbreak set in motion by the always evil military industrial complex. Unlike a great many of the films that inspired Terror, this outing actually spent a bit of extra cash on the production; and the results looked about as good as anything a true genre fan might hope for.
Anyway, I argued that this kind of goofy over-the-top mythmaking was exactly what Saturday Night on the SciFi/Syfy Channel should look like. Sure, it was campy. Yes, it was derivative. But a celebration of schlock is always warmly welcomed by our side of the aisle; and – to a degree – I think that’s what brought so many Sharknados to life, as well. While I would’ve liked for the producers to have spent a few more dollars on them, the results show that if you give audiences something worth staying home for over the weekend then they’ll do it … and a good time can be had by all.
I can’t say for certain that the makers of Clone Cops (2024) would necessarily agree. I don’t know them, so I don’t like making assumptions of this sort which I personally cannot back up in this space. Based on their reasonably low budget loony SciFi/Comedy’s similarities to such celebrated rubbish, I think they might. It’s another one of those perfectly imperfect features that should go down nicely with folks who appreciate a bit of unbridled goofiness in their entertainment diet; and maybe – just maybe – they’ll aim for even higher hijinks in the years ahead.
(NOTE: The following review will contain minor spoilers necessary solely for the discussion of plot and/or characters. If you’re the type of reader who prefers a review entirely spoiler-free, then I’d encourage you to skip down to the last few paragraphs for the final assessment. If, however, you’re accepting of a few modest hints at ‘things to come,’ then read on …)
From the film’s IMDB.com page citation:
“A gang of outlaws defend their hideout until they discover a shocking secret about who they are and what they're up against. Now it's a race against time as they look for a way to escape certain doom at the hands of the Clone Cops.”
This was a message board (ask your parents, kids), and there were a group of us discussing with some disgust how SciFi’s routine Saturday Night Movies had devolved into a mostly messy assortment of bargain basement direct-to-consumer offerings with garbage storytelling, absolutely ridiculous special effects, and – in the words of others – “washed up” actors and actresses. (I disagreed most strongly on that last point, as I’ll almost always firmly argue that talent – good, bad, and ugly – always has a place … you just have to find it.) While everyone else was recommending a total overhaul of the network, I was only mildly consenting that some rework was absolutely necessary.
You see, Science Fiction and Fantasy have always been genres rich with sub-bar efforts. All anyone need do is watch a single episode of Mystery Science Theatre 3000 to know that genre fans will tune in to almost anything, and that’s because – unlike other swatches of enthusiasts – we’ll laugh at something inferior as entertainment. This is because long ago we realized that the wider entertainment industry doesn’t take a good deal of what we like seriously; and – as a consequence – we learned not to take ourselves and our movies as seriously, either. We’ll chuckle at a misstep. We’ll guffaw when a sequence goes wrong. And we don’t care who knows.
Well, back in 2007, Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez realized that the realms of the Fantastic needed a bit of a reminder of the fact; so – as part of Quentin’s Grindhouse project – they delivered us a little something-something called Planet Terror. The film was a throwback to the storytelling sensibilities of the 1970’s and early 80’s, and it featured a crew of motley survivors who’d stop at nothing to survive a zombie outbreak set in motion by the always evil military industrial complex. Unlike a great many of the films that inspired Terror, this outing actually spent a bit of extra cash on the production; and the results looked about as good as anything a true genre fan might hope for.
Anyway, I argued that this kind of goofy over-the-top mythmaking was exactly what Saturday Night on the SciFi/Syfy Channel should look like. Sure, it was campy. Yes, it was derivative. But a celebration of schlock is always warmly welcomed by our side of the aisle; and – to a degree – I think that’s what brought so many Sharknados to life, as well. While I would’ve liked for the producers to have spent a few more dollars on them, the results show that if you give audiences something worth staying home for over the weekend then they’ll do it … and a good time can be had by all.
I can’t say for certain that the makers of Clone Cops (2024) would necessarily agree. I don’t know them, so I don’t like making assumptions of this sort which I personally cannot back up in this space. Based on their reasonably low budget loony SciFi/Comedy’s similarities to such celebrated rubbish, I think they might. It’s another one of those perfectly imperfect features that should go down nicely with folks who appreciate a bit of unbridled goofiness in their entertainment diet; and maybe – just maybe – they’ll aim for even higher hijinks in the years ahead.
(NOTE: The following review will contain minor spoilers necessary solely for the discussion of plot and/or characters. If you’re the type of reader who prefers a review entirely spoiler-free, then I’d encourage you to skip down to the last few paragraphs for the final assessment. If, however, you’re accepting of a few modest hints at ‘things to come,’ then read on …)
From the film’s IMDB.com page citation:
“A gang of outlaws defend their hideout until they discover a shocking secret about who they are and what they're up against. Now it's a race against time as they look for a way to escape certain doom at the hands of the Clone Cops.”
For those of you unawares, the Keystone Cops were a theatrical phenomenon in the early days of motion pictures. Though their various screen adventures have probably been forgotten by most who cover entertainment online in this modern era, I’ll do my part of a self-proclaimed archivist of All Things Genre and mention their existence today because – whether screenwriters Phillip Cordell and Danny Dones either know or agree – that brand of farcical merriment is alive and well in 2024’s Clone Cops. Why, you might even see the inspiration in the title alone!
Now, screen farce isn’t for everyone.
As I’ve often written about in this space as well, Comedy is an extremely controversial force when it’s applied to Science Fiction, Fantasy, and Horror because opinions vary widely, and what you find funny isn’t necessarily what others find funny. There’s a delicate balancing act to making Comedy work in genre – much less getting it embraced by wider audiences – and I’ve seen it fail more often than it’s ever succeeded. Perhaps the greatest purveyors of it in the past half-century were Jerry Zucker, David Zucker, Jim Abrahams, and Pat Proft: their names are associated with some of the last true farces of the silver screen, including Airplane! (1980), The Naked Gun: From The Files Of Police Squad! (1988), and Hot Shots! (1991). Of course, there are others, but I think it’s safe to say that their films in particular truly cast their watchful eye at anything and everything they could lampoon, and audiences responded in kind.
It's into this fertile territory that flicks like Clone Cops descend. While it arguably lacks the same level of intensity and suffers from a bit of lukewarm presentation here and there, Cordell and Dones (who also directs) maintain a consistent vision across the entire piece; and I think that fact alone should help open doors for more of such inspired schtick if the Comedy gods are watching.
In the near future, society at large has been reduced to couch potatoes who sit at their screens absorbing the highest rated show ever, Crimetime 360. Essentially, this is a parade of non-stop violence of good clones battling bad clones in a match-up of brain and brawn with the hope that bloodshed will be bonkers. One lucky viewer – Cameron (played by Schyler Tillett) – wins a contest to join the ‘bad guys’ in their latest death match though he’s promised by the corporate sponsor – NefariCorp – that he cannot be harmed in the crossfire as all clones have been programmed to avoid shooting him. Well, let’s never forget that the road to Hell is paved with an endless path of the best intentions!
Now, screen farce isn’t for everyone.
As I’ve often written about in this space as well, Comedy is an extremely controversial force when it’s applied to Science Fiction, Fantasy, and Horror because opinions vary widely, and what you find funny isn’t necessarily what others find funny. There’s a delicate balancing act to making Comedy work in genre – much less getting it embraced by wider audiences – and I’ve seen it fail more often than it’s ever succeeded. Perhaps the greatest purveyors of it in the past half-century were Jerry Zucker, David Zucker, Jim Abrahams, and Pat Proft: their names are associated with some of the last true farces of the silver screen, including Airplane! (1980), The Naked Gun: From The Files Of Police Squad! (1988), and Hot Shots! (1991). Of course, there are others, but I think it’s safe to say that their films in particular truly cast their watchful eye at anything and everything they could lampoon, and audiences responded in kind.
It's into this fertile territory that flicks like Clone Cops descend. While it arguably lacks the same level of intensity and suffers from a bit of lukewarm presentation here and there, Cordell and Dones (who also directs) maintain a consistent vision across the entire piece; and I think that fact alone should help open doors for more of such inspired schtick if the Comedy gods are watching.
In the near future, society at large has been reduced to couch potatoes who sit at their screens absorbing the highest rated show ever, Crimetime 360. Essentially, this is a parade of non-stop violence of good clones battling bad clones in a match-up of brain and brawn with the hope that bloodshed will be bonkers. One lucky viewer – Cameron (played by Schyler Tillett) – wins a contest to join the ‘bad guys’ in their latest death match though he’s promised by the corporate sponsor – NefariCorp – that he cannot be harmed in the crossfire as all clones have been programmed to avoid shooting him. Well, let’s never forget that the road to Hell is paved with an endless path of the best intentions!
Once inserted into the action, Cameron goes by the name Kinder. Though he’s initially welcomed as a confidante, the band of rebels – Fera (Quinnlan Ashe), Porter (Laura Holloway), Brick (Ted Welsh), and Cipher (Allison Shrum) – soon notice that he does not appear to be in nearly as much jeopardy as they are, and they suspect something is afoot. Before the big finish, however, they’ll all be comrades in arms, pledged to protect one another even after Kinder is forced to spill the existential beans informing them that not only are they not real but also they’re little more than expendable pawns in NefariCorp’s Truman Show all crafted for maximum ratings.
Of course, this summation might give Clone Cops a bit more credit than it’s ultimately owed. While such big ideas are the foundation for a great many Science Fiction films dramatically, it’s all concocted so fast and loosely here because what matters most is laughter. The humor, performances, and special effects are all understandably cheesy: this is a low budget affair that revels in its frivolity, and it shows. Instead of working against that grain, the cast and crew embrace it, hoping that their unabashed willingness to force it all down our throats with a thousand grains of salt is enough … and it will be for those who appreciate farce for what it is.
Dones and Cordell, thankfully, are no fools; and what they steal, they shamelessly steal from the best. Like RoboCop (1987) made great satiric use of running corporate adverts and inserts across a good portion of its running time, Clone Cops maximizes similar messaging in smaller, more affordable doses. (And don’t blink or you might miss the film’s obvious homage to Paul Verhoeven’s ‘Kuato’ from 1990’s Total Recall.) While I’ll argue that everything in here – from the acting, staging, cinematography, editing, and sequences – could’ve benefitted from a bit more time in the oven, what emerges still works. I generally appreciate a bit more polish even on such independent efforts, but there’s no denying all involved probably had a good time throwing this one into gear when they did.
Clone Cops (2024) was produced by HiPhi Productions. According to the press materials I was provided, the film is set for VOD release across the U.S. – along with a limited theatrical run in Los Angeles, New York, and Nashville – on January 31, 2025. As for the technical specifications? While I’m no trained video expert, I found most of the sights-and-sounds to be solid: it may be a defect tied to the streaming portal, but – for what it’s worth – the sound mix was incredibly low in volume. I had to crank this one up to 100 on my laptop and the portal, and – even then – I had to turn on the Closed Captioning in order to get all of the lines. That’s a miss, and I hope it can be corrected. As I viewed this one entirely via streaming, there were no special features under consideration.
Recommended.
Again, even Star Trek’s Commander Data said that “humor is a difficult concept,” and that remains true decades later. Clone Cops may not be the perfect punch line, but for those of us who do appreciate the effort it will play for a few laughs. Yes, it has some limitations – most of which were drawn by the budget – but there’s a beating heart pounding (if not spurting blood) somewhere within all of this acting and images, and I can feel its pulse. Such high spirits deserve a bit of airing out every now and then if for no other reason than it reminds us high-minded and good-natured human beings not to take ourselves so seriously. Somewhere, there’s a clone waiting to fill our shoes. If we don’t laugh now, then the clone will be doing it for us in the future.
In the interests of fairness, I’m pleased to disclose that the fine folks at HiPhi Productions provided me with complimentary streaming access to Clone Cops (2024) by request for the expressed purpose of completing this review. Their contribution to me in no way, shape, or form influenced my opinion of it.
-- EZ
Of course, this summation might give Clone Cops a bit more credit than it’s ultimately owed. While such big ideas are the foundation for a great many Science Fiction films dramatically, it’s all concocted so fast and loosely here because what matters most is laughter. The humor, performances, and special effects are all understandably cheesy: this is a low budget affair that revels in its frivolity, and it shows. Instead of working against that grain, the cast and crew embrace it, hoping that their unabashed willingness to force it all down our throats with a thousand grains of salt is enough … and it will be for those who appreciate farce for what it is.
Dones and Cordell, thankfully, are no fools; and what they steal, they shamelessly steal from the best. Like RoboCop (1987) made great satiric use of running corporate adverts and inserts across a good portion of its running time, Clone Cops maximizes similar messaging in smaller, more affordable doses. (And don’t blink or you might miss the film’s obvious homage to Paul Verhoeven’s ‘Kuato’ from 1990’s Total Recall.) While I’ll argue that everything in here – from the acting, staging, cinematography, editing, and sequences – could’ve benefitted from a bit more time in the oven, what emerges still works. I generally appreciate a bit more polish even on such independent efforts, but there’s no denying all involved probably had a good time throwing this one into gear when they did.
Clone Cops (2024) was produced by HiPhi Productions. According to the press materials I was provided, the film is set for VOD release across the U.S. – along with a limited theatrical run in Los Angeles, New York, and Nashville – on January 31, 2025. As for the technical specifications? While I’m no trained video expert, I found most of the sights-and-sounds to be solid: it may be a defect tied to the streaming portal, but – for what it’s worth – the sound mix was incredibly low in volume. I had to crank this one up to 100 on my laptop and the portal, and – even then – I had to turn on the Closed Captioning in order to get all of the lines. That’s a miss, and I hope it can be corrected. As I viewed this one entirely via streaming, there were no special features under consideration.
Recommended.
Again, even Star Trek’s Commander Data said that “humor is a difficult concept,” and that remains true decades later. Clone Cops may not be the perfect punch line, but for those of us who do appreciate the effort it will play for a few laughs. Yes, it has some limitations – most of which were drawn by the budget – but there’s a beating heart pounding (if not spurting blood) somewhere within all of this acting and images, and I can feel its pulse. Such high spirits deserve a bit of airing out every now and then if for no other reason than it reminds us high-minded and good-natured human beings not to take ourselves so seriously. Somewhere, there’s a clone waiting to fill our shoes. If we don’t laugh now, then the clone will be doing it for us in the future.
In the interests of fairness, I’m pleased to disclose that the fine folks at HiPhi Productions provided me with complimentary streaming access to Clone Cops (2024) by request for the expressed purpose of completing this review. Their contribution to me in no way, shape, or form influenced my opinion of it.
-- EZ
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