(NOTE: The following review will contain minor spoilers necessary solely for the discussion of plot and/or characters. If you’re the type of reader who prefers a review entirely spoiler-free, then I’d encourage you to skip down to the last few paragraphs for the final assessment. If, however, you’re accepting of a few modest hints at ‘things to come,’ then read on …)
From the film’s IMDB.com page citation:
“A depressed has-been child actor and owner of a dingy laundromat, becomes powerfully vengeful when his collection of lone socks transforms into a protective, cute, murderous monster named Crust.”
I’ve read a great deal of online commentary suggesting that Crust – a wild little chiller written by (in part), starring, and directed by the ubiquitous Sean Whalen – is a monster movie; and – to a very small degree – I’d concur. Certainly, it has a creature – Crust is what happens when you mix a laundromat’s mountain of unpaired, lost socks with the (somehow magical) tears of a former child actor now living in basic obscurity in the back of a big city laundromat. And, yes, that seminal monster behaves in ways characteristically attributed to things that go bump in the night. Still, Crust – the thing and the movie – stop well shy of adopting the core tenet of the traditional monster movie, that being audiences grant the critter a great sense of sympathy for its ostracization from society at large and eventually care more about it than (typically) they do the film’s protagonist.
(Well, that’s my two cents, anyway, and I’m sticking with it.)
Vegas (played by character actor Sean Whalen) has indeed fallen on hard times. In the 1990’s, he had the world as his oyster: as one of the many children headlining the popular family sitcom – Baker’s Dozen – he found fame, fortune, and celebrity. As so often happens when these youngsters transition into adulthood, they lose that childlike appeal and resort to – ahem – social questionable behaviors. As Fate would have it, he’s one of the only cast left employable; so when a Hollywood trend of exploring and exploiting reboots shines a bit of spotlight his way again, Vegas outwardly struggles with the question of whether or not he would want to be the next riches-to-rags-to-riches celebrity. But when a lowly TikToker broadcasts Vegas masturbating in the backroom of his laundromat/home to the world, Vegas realizes notoriety still clings to him whether he likes it or not, causing Fate to intervene and spawn him a creation – Crust – that might once again grant him access to levelling the playing field against his perceived enemies.
Conceptually, Crust has a solid foundation. Oh, yes, it’s more than a bit fanciful – what with the fallen man’s tears and sperm somehow breathing life into a pile of discarded laundry – but you accept a bit of sugar any time you approach the realms of the Fantastic. As a monster movie, it sticks mostly to such lighthearted territory, never truly succumbing to the endless parade of blood, guts, and brains that typifies what the worst creators think audiences seek to revel in. As other critics have pointed out, Crust requires a beating heart for both its whimsy and treachery to work in concert the way they do; and a great degree of that is owed to Whalen who obviously oversaw every layer of the production from conception to execution. This is the kind of feature that, hopefully, will open doors for him to pursue even bigger dreams; and yet I’ll hope he stays true to stories that resonate like this one does as opposed to visions that ‘trepidate’ like more salacious outings.
However, what I appreciated even more about the film is the fact that Whalen framed it entirely as a loose social satire somewhat similar to the tone of 1987’s RoboCop from director Paul Verhoeven.
Across a good portion of Crust’s running time, screenwriter Whalen punctuated his various plot points by utilizing a pair of talking heads from the world of an ‘Entertainment Tonight’ style news program. These two ‘plastic people’ are played very tongue-in-cheek, delivering their respective headlines with the level of aplomb and vacuousness that goes hand-in-hand with granting Hollywood lifestyles with the legitimacy many feel it deserves – think of the Kardashians hosting an evening hard-hitting diatribe on CNN or MSNBC, and you get the idea – and this gives the greater story a level of social commentary not often found in Horror. Having an added layer of cultural analysis makes Crust as much about us – as a society – as it is about how and why these celebrities might ultimately do what they do; and it’s this kind of dynamic that truly separates the wheat from the chaff, making Whalen ‘one to watch’ in perhaps the same way his signature browbeaten Vegas emerges despite his stated preference to leave celebrity all behind.
From the film’s IMDB.com page citation:
“A depressed has-been child actor and owner of a dingy laundromat, becomes powerfully vengeful when his collection of lone socks transforms into a protective, cute, murderous monster named Crust.”
I’ve read a great deal of online commentary suggesting that Crust – a wild little chiller written by (in part), starring, and directed by the ubiquitous Sean Whalen – is a monster movie; and – to a very small degree – I’d concur. Certainly, it has a creature – Crust is what happens when you mix a laundromat’s mountain of unpaired, lost socks with the (somehow magical) tears of a former child actor now living in basic obscurity in the back of a big city laundromat. And, yes, that seminal monster behaves in ways characteristically attributed to things that go bump in the night. Still, Crust – the thing and the movie – stop well shy of adopting the core tenet of the traditional monster movie, that being audiences grant the critter a great sense of sympathy for its ostracization from society at large and eventually care more about it than (typically) they do the film’s protagonist.
(Well, that’s my two cents, anyway, and I’m sticking with it.)
Vegas (played by character actor Sean Whalen) has indeed fallen on hard times. In the 1990’s, he had the world as his oyster: as one of the many children headlining the popular family sitcom – Baker’s Dozen – he found fame, fortune, and celebrity. As so often happens when these youngsters transition into adulthood, they lose that childlike appeal and resort to – ahem – social questionable behaviors. As Fate would have it, he’s one of the only cast left employable; so when a Hollywood trend of exploring and exploiting reboots shines a bit of spotlight his way again, Vegas outwardly struggles with the question of whether or not he would want to be the next riches-to-rags-to-riches celebrity. But when a lowly TikToker broadcasts Vegas masturbating in the backroom of his laundromat/home to the world, Vegas realizes notoriety still clings to him whether he likes it or not, causing Fate to intervene and spawn him a creation – Crust – that might once again grant him access to levelling the playing field against his perceived enemies.
Conceptually, Crust has a solid foundation. Oh, yes, it’s more than a bit fanciful – what with the fallen man’s tears and sperm somehow breathing life into a pile of discarded laundry – but you accept a bit of sugar any time you approach the realms of the Fantastic. As a monster movie, it sticks mostly to such lighthearted territory, never truly succumbing to the endless parade of blood, guts, and brains that typifies what the worst creators think audiences seek to revel in. As other critics have pointed out, Crust requires a beating heart for both its whimsy and treachery to work in concert the way they do; and a great degree of that is owed to Whalen who obviously oversaw every layer of the production from conception to execution. This is the kind of feature that, hopefully, will open doors for him to pursue even bigger dreams; and yet I’ll hope he stays true to stories that resonate like this one does as opposed to visions that ‘trepidate’ like more salacious outings.
However, what I appreciated even more about the film is the fact that Whalen framed it entirely as a loose social satire somewhat similar to the tone of 1987’s RoboCop from director Paul Verhoeven.
Across a good portion of Crust’s running time, screenwriter Whalen punctuated his various plot points by utilizing a pair of talking heads from the world of an ‘Entertainment Tonight’ style news program. These two ‘plastic people’ are played very tongue-in-cheek, delivering their respective headlines with the level of aplomb and vacuousness that goes hand-in-hand with granting Hollywood lifestyles with the legitimacy many feel it deserves – think of the Kardashians hosting an evening hard-hitting diatribe on CNN or MSNBC, and you get the idea – and this gives the greater story a level of social commentary not often found in Horror. Having an added layer of cultural analysis makes Crust as much about us – as a society – as it is about how and why these celebrities might ultimately do what they do; and it’s this kind of dynamic that truly separates the wheat from the chaff, making Whalen ‘one to watch’ in perhaps the same way his signature browbeaten Vegas emerges despite his stated preference to leave celebrity all behind.
The truth as audiences discover in the last reel when the otherwise black-and-white cinematography morphs into bold color is that neither Vegas nor Whalen were ever as simple as either/or. As living, breathing, thinking beings, we’re vastly more complex than simply being defined as this or that. Even though one might walk away from Crust believing that remains the central message from the script I’d argue that this is the goal of truly worthwhile satire: hide a thoughtful lesson beneath the ridiculousness, and you’ve crafted a story worth being told. If it’s just the outrageousness you show up for? Well, then you have that, too. Simpleton.
Thankfully, Whalen surrounds himself with an incredible pool of actors and actresses who – like him – have spent a good amount of time toiling away and stealing scenes while perhaps never being christened with the marquee fame their work deserves. The reliable Daniel Roebuck plays Vegas’ beer-swigging laundromat wingman Russ in such a way that viewers might want to take up day drinking just to hang out with him at the occasional AA meeting. As the only other surviving member of the Baker’s Dozen cast, Alan Ruck weasels his way – just as only he could – back into his co-star Vegas’s life with hopes of exploiting their relationship into a solo gig at rebound fame. Hell, I gave up hope that the bigger powers that be would finally grant actress Felissa Rose the star status she deserves: she’s only in a handful of scenes here, but she damn well steals every one of them as Vegas’ bitter ex-girlfriend who seemingly wants nothing more than to continue being Vegas’ bitter ex-girlfriend.
And … oh my God … can we take a minute to talk about Rebekah Kennedy?
How this young actress hasn’t found break-out fame remains a mystery to me. I believe I first discovered her aboard 2021’s Two Witches – a bizarre little Horror indie that felt a bit incomplete when I streamed it as part of its promotional push – and I’ve watched her pop up here and there. Though Two Witches felt inadequate to me, I distinctly recall praising the lady’s work, feeling that she gave about as inspired take on subversive villainy as I’ve seen anywhere. While outwardly she has this somewhat mousy girl-next-door appeal, she knows how to dial her craft up to eleven – even in small moments – and I think she’s made everything I’ve seen her in vastly more inviting. She’s the wallflower at the dance that you’ll find yourself smitten with once you give her the chance to show you what she’s made of, and – even though I appreciate a good creature feature – I think I’ll remember her more than I will the kindhearted Crust … but, hey, call me old-fashioned. Maybe that’s just how I feel about cum and socks.
Crust (2024) was produced by Crustsocks Productions, Mezek Films, Moonless Media & Entertainment, Stag Mountain Films, and Wicked Monkey Pictures. DVD distribution (for this particular release) has been coordinated by the fine folks at MVD Visual Entertainment. As for the technical specifications? While I’m no trained video expert, I’ll admit that this low-budget independent-style Thriller looks very solid from start-to-finish. Mind you: these are (mostly) practically, in-camera special effects, so you’ve got to embrace some simple lunacy in order for all of it to work stylistically, which I think it does. Lastly, if you’re looking for special features? The disc boasts an audio commentary from Whalen along with a few short films and a Q&A: while some might find that slim, I can assure you that it’s far more than most indies get, so fans should enjoy the ride while it’s in operation.
Recommended.
While I’ll admit that Crust isn’t going to be for everyone, it still has ‘cult’ written all over it in the best possible penmanship. Whalen’s time in the entertainment industry hasn’t been wasted, and he’s packed his project full of moments – big and small – that give this beast the teeth something made all out of socks obviously lacks. It might overstay its welcome – the 102-minute running time feels a bit bloated in a few spots as a handful of scenes seem to only reinforce what we already knew – but maybe we can chalk that up to a writer, actor, and director not wanting to sacrifice anything he’d committed to on film. Let’s just hope that – like Vegas – Whalen can transcend the Hollywood curse of being a one-hit-wonder.
In the interests of fairness, I’m pleased to disclose that the fine folks at MVD Visual Entertainment provided me with a complimentary Blu-ray of Crust (2024) by request for the expressed purpose of completing this review. Their contribution to me in no way, shape, or form influenced my opinion of it.
-- EZ
Thankfully, Whalen surrounds himself with an incredible pool of actors and actresses who – like him – have spent a good amount of time toiling away and stealing scenes while perhaps never being christened with the marquee fame their work deserves. The reliable Daniel Roebuck plays Vegas’ beer-swigging laundromat wingman Russ in such a way that viewers might want to take up day drinking just to hang out with him at the occasional AA meeting. As the only other surviving member of the Baker’s Dozen cast, Alan Ruck weasels his way – just as only he could – back into his co-star Vegas’s life with hopes of exploiting their relationship into a solo gig at rebound fame. Hell, I gave up hope that the bigger powers that be would finally grant actress Felissa Rose the star status she deserves: she’s only in a handful of scenes here, but she damn well steals every one of them as Vegas’ bitter ex-girlfriend who seemingly wants nothing more than to continue being Vegas’ bitter ex-girlfriend.
And … oh my God … can we take a minute to talk about Rebekah Kennedy?
How this young actress hasn’t found break-out fame remains a mystery to me. I believe I first discovered her aboard 2021’s Two Witches – a bizarre little Horror indie that felt a bit incomplete when I streamed it as part of its promotional push – and I’ve watched her pop up here and there. Though Two Witches felt inadequate to me, I distinctly recall praising the lady’s work, feeling that she gave about as inspired take on subversive villainy as I’ve seen anywhere. While outwardly she has this somewhat mousy girl-next-door appeal, she knows how to dial her craft up to eleven – even in small moments – and I think she’s made everything I’ve seen her in vastly more inviting. She’s the wallflower at the dance that you’ll find yourself smitten with once you give her the chance to show you what she’s made of, and – even though I appreciate a good creature feature – I think I’ll remember her more than I will the kindhearted Crust … but, hey, call me old-fashioned. Maybe that’s just how I feel about cum and socks.
Crust (2024) was produced by Crustsocks Productions, Mezek Films, Moonless Media & Entertainment, Stag Mountain Films, and Wicked Monkey Pictures. DVD distribution (for this particular release) has been coordinated by the fine folks at MVD Visual Entertainment. As for the technical specifications? While I’m no trained video expert, I’ll admit that this low-budget independent-style Thriller looks very solid from start-to-finish. Mind you: these are (mostly) practically, in-camera special effects, so you’ve got to embrace some simple lunacy in order for all of it to work stylistically, which I think it does. Lastly, if you’re looking for special features? The disc boasts an audio commentary from Whalen along with a few short films and a Q&A: while some might find that slim, I can assure you that it’s far more than most indies get, so fans should enjoy the ride while it’s in operation.
Recommended.
While I’ll admit that Crust isn’t going to be for everyone, it still has ‘cult’ written all over it in the best possible penmanship. Whalen’s time in the entertainment industry hasn’t been wasted, and he’s packed his project full of moments – big and small – that give this beast the teeth something made all out of socks obviously lacks. It might overstay its welcome – the 102-minute running time feels a bit bloated in a few spots as a handful of scenes seem to only reinforce what we already knew – but maybe we can chalk that up to a writer, actor, and director not wanting to sacrifice anything he’d committed to on film. Let’s just hope that – like Vegas – Whalen can transcend the Hollywood curse of being a one-hit-wonder.
In the interests of fairness, I’m pleased to disclose that the fine folks at MVD Visual Entertainment provided me with a complimentary Blu-ray of Crust (2024) by request for the expressed purpose of completing this review. Their contribution to me in no way, shape, or form influenced my opinion of it.
-- EZ
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