You know, kids: it's been quite some time since daddy's had a post about toys.  Let's rectify that right now.

In many respects, I think I've been away from product coverage like this because I haven't had anything all that exciting I've come across in stores.  Alas, there's an awful lot of 'been there done that' in the toy market for more than a few years now ... maybe since the ol' haunt Toys'R'Us went the way of the dodo.  It just seems like there's very little that's come down worthy of any extra coverage ... but Jazwares, LLC is doing some exciting stuff with the Star Wars Micro Galaxy Squadron line, so I thought I'd share a few snaps.

Though I am a bit older than most who scribble about this stuff, I strongly believe in taking things out of the package.  Trust me: there are some things, yes, that are worth collecting and keeping mint-in-package ... but there's stuff like these ships that deserve to be taken out, flown by hand, and fawned over.  Yes, even if it costs you the loss of a few cool points with your neighbors watching over the wall as you play with them.  They're just that damn incredible.

Star Wars fans of a certain age are very fond of the whole Micro Galaxy collection that kinda/sorta started and stopped with only a handful of inspired creations, and Jazwares -- if this is their intent to restart the line -- are honestly up and running fantastically.  This first wave of vehicles includes the Millennium Falcon, the Razor Crest, Boba Fett's ship (formerly called Slave 1 for purists like myself), and an Imperial Troop Transport.  (These are the premium toys available thus far.)  There are also new issues of the X-Wing Fighter, Darth Vader's TIE Advanced Fighter, Obi-Wan Kenobi's Jedi Starfighter, and Asaj Ventress's Ginivex Starfighter.  These are all the ones I've seen on shelves in both WalMart and Target; but a quick look at Ebay.com suggests there are others either set to hit stores soon or are available in very limited supply presently.  Lastly, there are these 'Mystery Packs' as well that feature an assortment of speeders and their riders; I have two of those from a purchase.  Honestly, I'm not that all impressed with the speeders as both I have are a bit misshapen from poor packaging.  (Figures are great ... speeders?  Not so much.)

At this point, I'm hoping and praying this line is commercially successful and continues.  So long as Jazwares sticks to some of the more popular choices -- along with the more popular films -- I think this could be a real addition to the collection of any Star Wars' fan.  The detail is incredible -- serious enough to bring tears to this ol' guy's eyes -- and the fact that they're designed to be played with in what I find most endearing.  Too many lines just drop a continuous stream of action figures, but this one gives you ships and admittedly super small figures ... but they look damn incredible.

Pictures are below.  You know what to do.

-- EZ
​

You know you've thought about it: how would my life be different if I went this way instead of that?

We've all toyed with such notions, both in our waking daydreams as well as those we suffer in our sleep.  This isn't even to mildly suggest we're unhappy in our respective current predicaments; rather, I think it's just a human exercise -- a creative flight of fancy -- to wonder about how our lives could've ended up differently given a wildly alternate set of variables placed before us.  It isn't so much about ruminating on crossroads: it's just ... well ... perfectly natural for it to slip into our conscious thoughts ... if not from time-to-time then perhaps once a year.

And there have been a few good television programs that have kinda/sorta toyed with the premise.  The last two seasons of Fox TV's stellar Fringe explored a world directly parallel to our own, and the character crossovers from one reality to the other made for some incredibly interesting story ideas.  Starz Network's interesting Counterpart took the same basic idea -- two separate universes bridged by a single door -- and, largely, kept the drama going for two good seasons until it ran its course.  Lastly, Netflix's very very good Dark wasn't so much about parallel worlds -- though its subject matter really bled into similar territory -- but kinda/sorta tinkered with the idea of how the present and the future would be altered -- even by the smallest historical changes -- and did so to the delight of audiences around the world.

In any event ...

It looks like audiences are getting another cinematic exposure to the idea of alternate universes, this one coming from what looks to be the independent movie scene: The Alternate is set to tease viewers along with its characters in that 'what if' scenario ... what if you found yourself living a very different life?  Publicity materials indicate this one is going the Video-On-Demand route starting on September 6th.

Here's the premise as provided by IMDB.com:

"Upon unlocking a portal to an alternate dimension where all his dreams have come true, struggling filmmaker Jake is forced to confront his idealized self."

Also, I'd be remiss if I failed to mention that this one appears to have been almost universally embraced during its run on the film festival circuit.  IMDB.com reports (at present) that The Alternate has scored an impressive 15 nominations and 12 wins from a variety of festival appearances.  While some folks live and die by that trend-setting environment, I've found it a bit dubious (not intending that as an insult) as flicks enjoying great returns there more often than not do tend to be 'geared' more toward that network.  Let's keep our fingers crossed that this one has legs when it gets to the masses-at-large.

As always, thanks for reading ... and live long and prosper!

​-- EZ

Many moons back, I got into a debate with a certain someone regarding Metalstorm: The Destruction Of Jared-Syn.

Now, don't worry: it was a friendly debate.

The point he made was a bit dismissive, in my mind.  He contended that if it weren't for the 3D craze of the 1980's then Metalstorm would be a completely forgotten motion picture that no one would ever give a second thought but less even know of its existence.  I argued, simply, by saying that he didn't know how cult films worked, that what draws subsequent generations to often dismissed genre films isn't a momentary craze ... because those new generations usually know very little of those.  Instead, they're drawn to a film's charm (or lack thereof) or intelligence (or lack thereof) or its flash and sizzle (or lack thereof).  Merely writing off everything else that could draw audiences to it is usually the flaw of limited perceptions ... but I'll leave it at that.

Still, Metalstorm did come out at the time of and tried to capitalize on the 3D craze -- there's no denying that -- but I'd also have to point out that any time I've heard fans discussing the flick it's more than likely owed to the picture's villains.  TV's Richard Moll chews scenery, all the while with only a single eye.  And Michael Preston makes for a good central baddie.  Rarely -- very rarely -- do I hear folks sound off on the feature's heroes, with the notable exception possibly being that this was one of Kelly Preston's earliest theatrical efforts and needs to be seen in order to enjoy her in her youth.  That might be silly, but if it brings folks to see it, then so be it.

Genre legend Charles Band -- the film's director -- owes much of the credit to bringing this B-Movie gem to the screen.  With a script written by Alan J. Adler, Band directed stars Jeffrey Byron, Tim Thomerson, R. David Smith, Larry Pennell, and others.  According to our friends at IMDB.com, here's the plot summary:

"On a desert planet, warlord Jared-Syn is trying to convince a tribe of mutants that he's their messiah and gain unlimited power hidden in a crystal. Ranger Dogen and explorer Dhyana, who's father was murdered by Syn, must stop him."

Sure, it's imperfect, but all B-Movies are.  That's part and parcel of the charm in watching them, and fans have learned to accept an awful lot of camp despite the blemishes.

In 2016, Shout Factory released a Blu-ray edition of Metalstorm, and I see that the pressing is still available on Amazon.com.  Though the disk's review over on Bluray.com only gives the package a solid 3.0 (on the 5.0 scale), the critic reports that the collection boasts a 45-minute 'making of' documentary that's very well done.  That alone might be reason enough for true fans of genre outings to pick up a copy.

As always, thanks for reading ... and live long and prosper!

​-- EZ

Others have made the case for more eloquently than I ever could, but Blade -- released on this day in the U.S. back in 1998 -- might very well deserve to be credited with saving the comic book movie from extinction.

See, the really big competition in comic book adaptations at that time were the -- cough cough -- DC Comics incarnations of Batman Forever (1995) and Batman & Robin (1997) flicks in which director Joel Schumacher had largely taken a flamethrower to the universe and began dismantling any goodwill right-minded folks might have for what made a good comic book flick.  While Batman Forever isn't all that bad, it certainly put the DC Cinematic Universe in a curious place ... but the God-awful Batman & Robin remains about a big a theatrical disappointment as was humanly possible at that time.  Big names.  Big ideas.  All delivered with camp, pomp, and circumstance befitting 80's era soft-core porn.  And it came from a major motion picture studio.  Ouch.

But Blade kinda/sorta served to right the narrative ship.

With a script from David S. Goyer, director Stephen Norrington delivered a dark, noirish, adult comic book tale ... part Fantasy, part Horror, but all Snipes.  And that would be Wesley Snipes, who brough the famed daywalker to life in a world that clearly needed an ass-whooping.  Kris Kristofferson filled in the shoes of 'Whistler,' a kinda/sorta mentor to this new aged Man In Black.  And Stephen Dorff, Udo Kier, and Donal Logue rounded out the cast in separately villainous roles.

Here's the plot summary as provided by IMDB.com:

"In a world where vampires walk the earth, Blade has a goal. His goal is to rid the world of all vampire evil. When Blade witnesses a vampire bite Dr. Karen Jenson, he fights away the beast and takes Jenson back to his hideout. Here, alongside Abraham Whistler, Blade attempts to help heal Jenson. The vampire Quinn who was attacked by Blade, reports back to his master Deacon Frost, who is planning a huge surprise for the human population."

On a reported budget of $45 million, Blade reaped a solid $131 million in global box office receipts (per BoxOfficeMojo.com), and it paved the way for two sequels as well as a TV spinoff series.

At the 1999 Saturn Awards (sponsored by the Academy Of Science Fiction, Fantasy, And Horror Films), Blade scored two nominations: 'Best Horror Film' and 'Best Make-Up.'  Though it failed to win top honors there, actor Udo Kier took home a trophy in the category of 'Best Supporting Actor' from the 1999 Fangoria Chainsaw Awards ... so that's got to count for something.  Furthermore, actor Stephen Dorff won the title of 'Best Villain' at the 1999 MTV Movie + TV Awards, another nod that Marvel and director Norrington had certainly gotten something right on the screen.

As always, thanks for reading ... and live long and prosper!

​-- EZ

As I've long said in this space, I don't do an awful lot of promotion and/or reviews for the fairly conventional slasher movies.  It isn't that I don't like them; rather it's that they really fall a bit too traditionally into Horror, leaving me with little room to craft a 'hook' with which to either think about them or write about them with any degree of personal interest.  I don't mind giving them the occasional whirl on the DVD player if I can get my hands on them, so maybe -- maybe -- 1976's Massacre At Central High will get a bit of exposure soon.  I've read that it's coming down the pike fairly quickly with a September 13th release planned by Synapse Films, so I thought I'd share a little something something about what I know.

​Written and directed by Rene Daalder, the film was first given bold life up in the lights with its U.S. theatrical release on November 10, 1976.  From the looks of the release schedule on IMDB.com, it had a fairly limited window of opportunity to be seen by the world: there are only eight dates mentioned, with a few of them being specific to home video.  The feature film starred such folks as Derrel Maury, Andrew Stevens, Robert Carradine, Kimberly Beck, Ray Underwood, and Lani O'Grady.  Here's the plot summary as provided by IMDB.com:

"A high school transfer student, pushed to the edge by a trio of brutal bullies, resorts to murder to reclaim the school from oppression, and later turns against the students wanting to fill the vacuum of their oppressors."

As is my custom, I'll be doing the copy-and-paste of the press release below.  Synapse Films provides a few more details worth considering, and I'm sure interested parties will surf the Information Superhighway to pre-order their copy at their leisure.

As always, thanks for reading ... and live long and prosper!

-- EZ
​

For those who may’ve missed it, the lovely Tanya Roberts was one of the Hollywood actresses we said goodbye to in 2021.  It was reported by NBC News that the lady passed away from a fatal development of sepsis that grew out of a urinary tract infection, something that is apparently far more common than most folks think.  As I’ve always said, it’s sad to see anyone go, but – with these actors and actresses – we’re blessed that they leave behind a body of work that’s available to both remember their gifts as well as maybe find even a small bit of newfound respect for some of their lesser projects … and I do believe a flick like Sheena (1984) qualifies.
 
Released in late August, 1984, Sheena – or as it was initially advertised as Sheena: Queen Of The Jungle – wasn’t a remarkable film by any stretch of the imagination.  Critics were not moved to any great degree by its story, and – from what I can recall – it was widely panned for inferior performances paired with what viewers thought was ‘progressive’ nudity.  Though rated PG by the Motion Picture Association, the movie features Roberts’ body of assets in mostly what I’d call ‘modest glory,’ and I have a vague recollection that those more culturally in-the-know than I felt otherwise.
 
Still, Sheena hasn’t found cult status in much the way other films with similar goofiness and treatment have.  In fact, one could argue that it’s a forgotten film from the 1980’s, a time when cinematic Fantasy was experiencing a bit of a cultural renaissance thanks to features like Conan The Barbarian (1982), The Beastmaster (1982), and The NeverEnding Story (1984), along with many, many others.  So in the hopes of perhaps righting that cultural wrong, I thought it prudent to uncover a few things worth knowing about the film that may’ve passed all of us by.
 
The Finer Sex
 
Most assuredly, the studio intended to capitalize on Roberts’ sex appeal both in selecting her for the role as well as the marketing plans to woo potential audiences.
 
The one-time Charlie’s Angels turned heads in 1982 when she – ahem – came clean in what Playboy Magazine promised as “a knockout nude pictorial.”  Interestingly enough, the whole point of her appearance in the periodical was originally to ramp up the promotional campaign for 1982’s The Beastmaster in which she appeared opposite Marc Singer.  However, the interview and pictures didn’t appear until after that feature had been placed in theaters, so I’m inclined to think that the buzz she eventually created caught Hollywood’s eye and may’ve even led to her landing the job as ‘the female Tarzan.’
 
Roberts wasn’t the only sex symbol producers considered in their build-up to production.  While an HBO Making-Of short available on YouTube.com boasts over 2,000 actresses were considered, what matters most in this case is who were they.  Names bandied about include Raquel Welch, Bo Derek, Jodie Foster, Sandahl Bergman, Cheryl Ladd, Sybil Danning, Christie Brinkley, and Farrah Fawcett.
 
Indeed, that list proves one thing: sex sells.
 
A Historic Beginning
 
Those who remember the film typically refer to it almost entirely as “that Tanya Roberts” flick … but does anyone know the character’s actual legacy?
 
To be as precise as possible, Sheena was the original symbol of girl power for a generation of comic book readers.  In fact, she was the very first female comic book character who was given her very own title – Sheena: Queen Of The Jungle – all the way back in 1938.  (What this means, folks, is that Sheena is an intellectual property older than the much-revered Wonder Woman, who is often thought of as the first big comic book breakout.)  The jungle lady is the creation of Will Eisner and Jerry Iger, and Eisner is on record as crediting H. Rider Haggard’s novel She (1886) as their inspiration.
 
In a 1984 interview with Starlog Magazine (June issue), Sheena producer Paul Aratow sounded off on the importance of honoring the character’s legacy with just the right story for her silver screen debut.  Though he ended up being separated (to some degree) from the production due to studio pressures to craft something a bit more commercial, Aratow ends the piece by clarifying that he always saw Sheena as a role model for young girls to idolize.
 
I’m not sure the studio felt the same way.
 
A Real Movie Princess
 
As is often the case, a great deal of effort to craft legitimacy in the world of cinematic Fantasy gets lost in the production shuffle, but the movers and shakers intent on delivering Sheena up in the lights did go out of their way to bring as much authenticity to the feature as possible, including shooting for five months in Kenya and even hiring a real-live princess as part of the cast.
 
Elizabeth of Toro – or as she is known internationally as Princess Elizabeth of Toro – was born in 1936 to the royal family of Tooro Kingdom within Uganda.  In her youth, she was the only black student at the Sherborne School For Girls in London.  As the third African woman to be admitted to the University of Cambridge, she eventually graduated with a law degree and went on to become the first woman of East Africa admitted to the English Bar.  Besides serving as a politician, a lawyer, and a model, she was cast to serve as a female Shaman who helps instruct Sheena herself in her magical and mystical ways of communicating with animals of the jungle.
 
In a 2011 interview with NewAfrican Magazine, Elizabeth admits that she was never impressed with the film’s script, but she admired what the producers had done with the central character.  “Sheena expressed a certain truth, a certain reality, namely, that an indigenous culture, a way of life, had suffered an assault at the hands of an alien one,” she said.

​-- EZ

The uninformed merely suspect that Sheena (1984) was little more than a jungle Fantasy film that grew out of some creepy old man's mind of what men wanted to see in an alternate take of the Tarzan mythos, but that would be far from the truth.

In reality, Sheena -- aka Sheena: Queen Of The Jungle -- grew out of the minds of comic book storytellers Will Eisner and Jerry Iger when they created the property for her very own ongoing story from the Golden Age Of Comics.  Truth be told, peeps: Sheena is an older character than is Wonder Woman, so let's just agree that she's been around.  Also, it bears mentioning that -- historically -- Sheena was the first comic book character to ever be given her own book, so there's more to her than meets the eye.  Besides the books, she was brought to life in a live action TV series in the 1955-1956 season starring model Irish McCalla as the Queen herself.

But back to the movie ...

Directed by John Guillerman, this 80's incarnation cast former Charlie's Angels star Tanya Roberts as the orphan raised in the wild to eventually serve as the land's protector.  Ted Wass, Donovan Scott, and Clifton Jones were also hired for key roles in the script from David Newman and Lorenzo Semple Jr.

Here's the plot summary as provided by IMDB.com:

"Sheena grew up in the African wild, raised by a mystical witch woman. When her foster mother is framed for a murder Sheena is forced to flee, helped by her ability to talk to animals and her knowledge of the jungle."

Alas, reviews were not as flattering as Roberts was in the bikini -- I'm only human, folks -- so the feature came and went pretty quickly.

It bears mentioning that the property could be considered ripe for another adaptation at some point in the future.  It did enjoy a bit of popularity in the early 2000's when actress Gena Lee Nolin gave it new life in a syndicated TV version.

​-- EZ

There are others -- probably countless others -- who enjoy 1985's Enemy Mine far more than I do.

Again, folks, don't get me wrong: it isn't a film I dislike.  As I try to maintain a level of consistency in talking about film, I can only speak to whether or not a feature connected with me ... and despite all of director Wolfgang Petersen's best efforts in there it just didn't resonate beyond a one-time viewing ... though I recently gave it a rewatch to see if I felt differently.  (Alas, I didn't.)  I love the performances and production detail.  I think it's definitely a film worth recommending.  It just doesn't mean all that much to be on a personal level.

But Petersen leaves behind an incredible career for students and fans to celebrate.

Before Enemy Mine, the man put himself on the genre map with bringing the fondly-remembered The NeverEnding Story to audiences worldwide.  Then, in 1995, he dabbled with Science Fiction again (mildly) with Outbreak, the story of Army doctors trying to get a plague under control in the United States.

While the myth of Troy gets very near to Fantasy, I'd have to give him major props for managing to somehow deliver one of the most relatable versions to the silver screen in 2004.  Though I thought Brad Pitt was a bit of curious casting, the ensemble never faultered, and it remains a watchable experience as well as one worth the time for professors to share with their students in mythology class.

Alas, none of us lasts forever, but thank goodness that we'll always have these works to treasure.  A good movie is like a good friend, something that sticks with you through thick and thin, and is always worth spending another evening with.

Thought and prayers are extended to the fans, friends, and family of Wolfgang Petersen.

​-- EZ

Well, well, well ... I don't care what any of you say, I think that if a Critter -- or a Crite, is it? -- sinks those teeth into you, then it's gonna hurt.  Bigly.

On this day in 1991 (in the big ol' U.S. of A.), a little something something called Critters 3 expanded the whole Critters universe, paving the way for the eventual release of Critters 4.  (IMDB.com reports that these two features were shot simultaneously and involve a cliffhanger between the two features.)  Directed by Kristine Peterson, this one's story is credited to Rupert Harvey and Barry Opper while David J. Schow earns marks for completing the screenplay.

Perhaps the film's greatest claim to fame -- as fate would have it -- is that it serves as the big screen theatrical debut to one young lad named Leonardo DiCaprio, a future Oscar winner and -- ahem -- Global Warming alarmist (I said what I said).  Others in the cast include John Calvin, Aimee Brooks, Christian Cousins, Joseph Cousins, and Nina Axelrod.

Here's the plot summary as provided by our friends at IMDB.com:

"The tiny fur ball aliens that will eat anything or anyone set their sights on a Los Angeles apartment tower."

Beyond just the facts above, I really couldn't say much about the wider Critters universe of films.  I haven't seen this one -- I believe I've only watched the first -- and I generally don't like stepping into waters when I'm uniformed.  I do see that -- a few years back -- the people at Shout Factory released the entire collection of Critters films on Blu-ray; maybe at some point in the future I'll partake of it and find I have plenty more to say about these hungry little things.

As always, thanks for reading ... and live long and prosper!

​-- EZ

Fantasy films enjoyed a great cinematic resurgence throughout the 1980's, most of this newfound popularity owed to the Arnold Schwarzenegger starring Conan The Barbarian (1982).  However, at the time of Conan's filming, there was another project already in the pipeline.  Though The Beastmaster lacked Arnold's star power to give it legs at the box office, it did originate from the pen of scribe Andre Norton: her 1959 Fantasy novel "The Beast Master" served as the foundation for the muscled-yarn of a man in somewhat telepathic communication with the animals.

(For the record: Norton has spoken on-the-record to express her dissatisfaction with her novel being so closely associated to the first film.  In fact, Norton demanded that her name be removed from the original prints, even though the film's director has spoken fondly about his inspiration from her novels.  Ouch.)

​Director Don Coscarelli worked on the screenplay to adapt the ideas from the Norton book for the silver screen.  Marc Singer was cast as the hunky lead, and he was joined by John Amos, Tanya Roberts, Rip Torn, and Rod Loomis in key roles.  Here's the film's plot summary as provided by IMDB.com:

"A sword-and-sorcery fantasy about a young man's search for revenge. Armed with supernatural powers, the handsome hero and his animal allies wage war against marauding forces."

Though I've read that, initially, The Beastmaster really only enjoyed modest success at the U.S. box office, the film surprisingly developed a strong cult following over the years from TV and pay cable broadcasts as well as a healthy interest from the home video crowd. 

Because mankind never quite knows much less understands how these things work, The Beastmaster -- as its own property -- continued to survive well after that first motion picture even in spite of its best middling effort.  Nearly ten years after the first film was in theaters, audiences were treated to Beastmaster 2: Through The Portal Of Time (1991), thus morphing it from a stand-alone feature to a full-bodied franchise (yes, pun intended).  In 1996, Marc Singer suited up (well) again (in loincloth, presumably) for Beastmaster III: The Eye Of Braxus for a Fantasy telefilm.  Lastly, there was a syndicated TV series which brought in Daniel Goddard to assume the mantle of Dar (erm ... loincloth?) that ran for an adventurous three seasons.

I guess it's safe to say that there's no keeping a good BeastMaster down.

​-- EZ