Folks, I've never -- NEVER -- understood all of the hate directed by Tim Burton's Mars Attacks (1996).

Now, I get that humor is a difficult concept.  What I find funny isn't exactly meant to be what you'll find funny, so there's a good deal of subjectivity when it comes to crafting a good laugher.  But Mars Attacks was so broad in the way it approached characters and situations that I really found it a winner on all counts.  A fabulous cast.  Some fabulously campy effects sequences.  A really good riot of a concept.  Yet -- for whatever reasons -- it's one of the flicks that's just loathed by so many that I've given up trying to convince folks of its inherent genius.

Joe Don Baker had a role in it.  It wasn't a big bit of screen time, but it was manageable enough.  As the father of a fallen soldier, he directed his sheer anger at those dreaded Martians when given the chance.  Though he didn't emerge triumphant (did anyone in it?  really?), he gave it an admirable attempt.  I respect that.  I hope you do to.

Also around the same time, the actor was making a solid entry into the world of espionage when he brought to life the character of 'Jack Wade' -- CIA officer -- during Pierce Brosnan's run as the unflappable James Bond.  Baker definitely brought a vastly more blue collar sensibility to the franchise -- an aura that really worked well opposite Brosnan's stiff upper British lip -- and the two played off one another in a way that made even the lesser pictures better.  True 'dat.

​Was there more?

Well, there always is.  Taking a quick glance at the reliable IMDB.com, it would seem that Baker actually got his professional start in genre entertainment what with a guest spot aboard the fondly remembered Honey West, so the sky was the limit.  Other visits into the realms of the Fantastic include work aboard Mission: Impossible, The Shadow Of Chikara (1977), The Pack (1977), Wacko (1982), The Living Daylights (1987), Leonard Part 6 (1987), Cape Fear (1991), Congo (1995), GoldenEye (1995), and Tomorrow Never Dies (1997).

Our prayers are extended to the family, friends, and fans of Joe Don Baker.

May he rest in peace.

-- EZ

(NOTE: The following review will contain minor spoilers necessary solely for the discussion of plot and/or characters.  If you’re the type of reader who prefers a review entirely spoiler-free, then I’d encourage you to skip down to the last few paragraphs for the final assessment.  If, however, you’re accepting of a few modest hints at ‘things to come,’ then read on …)
 
From the film’s IMDB.com page citation:
“Astronauts, and their robotic dog AMEE (Autonomous Mapping Evaluation and Evasion), search for solutions to save a dying Earth by searching on Mars, only to have the mission go terribly awry.”
 
Going entirely from memory (which can be flawed), I seem to recall a good handful of films exploring ideas set on Mars – the Red Planet of the 2000 flick – so that could be why a little ‘something-something’ like this feature may’ve gone unnoticed by so many back in its day.  We’re human, after all, and – given those constraints – it does sometimes require a bit of extra effort on the part of storytellers to pull us out of our collective stupor long enough to purchase a ticket.  Indeed, Planet’s cast alone – Val Kilmer, Carrie-Anne Moss, Tom Sizemore, Terence Stamp – might’ve been enough for those of us not asleep at the wheel; but a quick Google.com search indicates that the feature grossed a paltry $33M off a reported $80M budget, so I’m thinking this one played to small crowds, indeed.
 
Sadly, the script attributed to Chuck Pfarrer and Jonathan Lemkin seemed entirely invested in the idea of Global Climate Change destroying our world and requiring that – in the near future – we’d be looking to relocate elsewhere as soon as possible.  Now, Planet was released in 2000 – meaning that it was made probably a year or so before with post production requirements filling in the gap – and Al Gore’s seminal An Inconvenient Truth – the ultimate doom-and-gloom picture if ever there were – was still a few years away (released in 2006).  Given that the naysayers really hadn’t come into their own, some might suggest that Planet was a bit too ‘ahead of its time,’ implying that audiences couldn’t quite grasp its importance.  Pfarrer’s resume isn’t all that renowned – Darkman (1990), Hard Target (1993), Barb Wire (1996) – so perhaps he should’ve gone after simpler ideas.  Lemkin’s isn’t much better – The Devil’s Advocate (1997), Lethal Weapon 4 (1998) – so I’m thinking this one never really had much of a chance right out of the gate.
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With Earth dying a slow death, NASA decides to send our best and brightest to kickstart our Martian terraforming efforts which seems to have been taking steps backward for mysterious reasons.  (Apparently, we were successfully creating oxygen there, but something has gone awry.)  Captain Bowman (played by Carrie-Anne Moss) loosely narrates the picture but providing something less than James T. Kirk’s fabled ‘captain’s log’ audiences were instead treated to voiceover that sounded more akin to Bridget Jones’ Diary, what with her describing her male counterparts and their respective skills and idiosyncrasies.  About the time that Mission Specialist Gallagher (Val Kilmer) – ship’s janitor – walks in on her taking a shower, it comes pretty clear that Planet isn’t so much about the pursuit of science as it is scriptwriting convention.  It was a great device to introduce Moss’ side-boobs, so maybe let’s be thankful for small favors.
 
Before you can say ‘failure,’ everything that could go wrong does so, complete with a blast of solar radiation crippling the primary vehicle, requiring Bowman to kinda/sorta ‘go down with the ship’ while sending the rest of the crew down to the Martian surface.  Thankfully, she’s spared by her quick thinking, and yet the men experience one setback after another: their landing leaves one critically injured, their crash has the aforementioned robot permanently stuck in ‘combat mode,’ and their lack of oxygen means no one is likely lasting long enough to both solve the Martian problem and communicate a possible game plan back to the brainiacs on Earth.  Who’d’ve thunk going where no man has gone before would be so damn difficult?
 
Well, apparently those measurements about there being no oxygen on Mars were incorrect because – in the fit of death throes – Gallagher rips open his mask only to discover he can breathe.  (It ain’t perfect, but it’s still air, meaning NASA doesn’t know what it’s doing.)  It would seem that there is a greater mystery needing these survivors’ immediate attention; and this basically sets the stage for what follows.  Gallagher, Burchenal (Tom Sizemore), and Pettengil (Simon Baker) remain in a race for survival against the Martian elements while Bowman – high above – goes about the business of repairing the ship while exploring the limited options for getting what remains of her crew back on board.

Now, I’m no rocket scientist, and I’m far too old to pretend I can answer every question raised by the curious developments in Red Planet.  The script suggests that we’ve been importing algae to the distant planet; and – at one point – it’s pretty clear that none survived.  There are late-breaking twists in the second half which show that apparently a great deal of it was still there even though the astronauts never question just how and why it got to an all-new location.  Furthermore, the film makes it look like Mars isn’t entirely lifeless – a kind of cockroach somehow exists in abundance – but there’s no talk about when and where they came from or how they could possibly have evolved on a barren world.  There are even suggestions that these bugs can feast on anything – plants, flesh, and metal – and, again, I’m at a loss to understand exactly how a critter like that could work … well, except to say that it all chalks up quite nicely to being little more than the exploitation of the usual Science Fiction trope.  They needed the bugs to make the script whole, so they’re there.
 
Sigh.
 
Otherwise, there just isn’t any narrative substance to this Planet.
 
The characters are so bland that they’re even whittled down to just one single defining characteristic each: Gallagher is mechanically-inclined, Santen (Benjamin Bratt) is all macho, Chantilas (Terence Stamp) is spiritually whimsical, Pettengil is persistently paranoid, and Burchenal is entirely science-minded.  There’s little room for crossover – not in the way that effective and moving writing works – so each player is only allowed to hit certain beats in his respective scenes.  Antony Hoffman’s direction never even tries to pull at the seams visually for something different, though there is a bit of cinematography that certainly helps to elevate the tension when AMEE decides killing is the only solution to this existential crisis.
 
To their credit, Moss and Kilmer do make for an interesting pair.  While the writing never quite explores the potential complexity of inappropriate relationships between the commander and a member of her crew, the two still have the gravitas to play off one another with just the proper measure of flirtatious suggestion.  This was the same thing that a good many 1950’s Science Fiction films did (and did better with less) so many years before, back in the days when studio executives insisted that there be some romance in a flick in order to give the possible ladies in the audience something to celebrate.  Given that Planet was produced a few decades later, one would think the powers that be would’ve asked for a bit more substance to such intergalactic affairs.  Still, love it what it is … even in space.
​

Red Planet (2000) was produced by Warner Bros., Village Roadshow Pictures, NPV Entertainment, The Canton Company, Mars Production Pty. Ltd., and Zaman Productions.  DVD distribution (for this particular release) has been coordinated by the fine folks at Warner Bros.  As for the technical specifications?  While I’m no trained video expert, I can still attest that the provided sights and sounds are pretty solid: even some of the dated effects work holds up fairly well, though history will likely be unkind in another ten years or so.  Lastly, if you’re looking for special features?  The disc boasts some deleted scenes along with a few extras, but it’s a fairly thin collection so I suspect some will be disappointed.
 
Alas … only Mildly Recommended.
 
It isn’t Red Planet (2000) is a bad movie.  It’s just an entirely forgettable experience as assembled.  That didn’t need to be the case: had the producers opted to shake up this story in such a way as to propel it a few centuries into the future and have the crew simply terraforming some distant world, then it might’ve had the right stuff to maybe build a cult appeal … but Mars?  Global warming?  Extraterrestrial cockroaches?  Not a captain’s log by a ‘captain’s diary?’  This just feels all off – like the kind of project that was hijacked by those who didn’t have storytelling’s best interests at heart; and it fails pretty miserably.
 
In the interests of fairness, I’m pleased to disclose that the fine folks at Allied Vaughn provided me with a complimentary DVD of Red Planet (2000) by request for the expressed purpose of completing this review.  Their contribution to me in no way, shape, or form influenced my opinion of it.

-- EZ
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A quick Google.com search indicates that Zombie Lake (1981) was previously released on home video back in 2013 via the good people at Kino Lorber under their Redemption label.  Folks interested in picking up a copy for their very own collection -- we here at SciFiHistory.Net are huge fans of physical media -- can do so by clicking on the link below:
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Good morning, gentle readers, and welcome to New Releases Tuesday!

Go ahead and scour the World Wide Web, and you'll eventually find that there's no bigger advocate for continuing to purchase physical media than we here at SciFiHistory.Net.  And why not?  You get better picture.  You get better sound.  And the great many of these subsequent releases contain special features -- some new, some old -- which continue to show exactly why the art of motion pictures remains pivotal in both educating and entertaining audiences around the world.

In keeping with our tradition of promoting these sterling wares, here's our announcement celebrating an all-new home video release of 1989's The Sweet House Of Horrors.

According to our friends at IMDB.com, here's the plot summary:

"A murdered couple return from the beyond to care for their two young children, as well as seek revenge against their killer, accept their children's step parents, and try to prevent their house from being sold."

​Good morning, gentle readers, and welcome to New Releases Tuesday!

Go ahead and scour the World Wide Web, and you'll eventually find that there's no bigger advocate for continuing to purchase physical media than we here at SciFiHistory.Net.  And why not?  You get better picture.  You get better sound.  And the great many of these subsequent releases contain special features -- some new, some old -- which continue to show exactly why the art of motion pictures remains pivotal in both educating and entertaining audiences around the world.

In keeping with our tradition of promoting these sterling wares, here's our announcement celebrating an all-new home video release of 2025's Mickey 17.

According to our friends at IMDB.com, here's the plot summary:

"During a human expedition to colonize space, Mickey 17, a so-called "expendable" employee, is sent to explore an ice planet."

Good morning, gentle readers, and welcome to New Releases Tuesday!

Go ahead and scour the World Wide Web, and you'll eventually find that there's no bigger advocate for continuing to purchase physical media than we here at SciFiHistory.Net.  And why not?  You get better picture.  You get better sound.  And the great many of these subsequent releases contain special features -- some new, some old -- which continue to show exactly why the art of motion pictures remains pivotal in both educating and entertaining audiences around the world.

In keeping with our tradition of promoting these sterling wares, here's our announcement celebrating an all-new home video release of 1971's groundbreaking Science Fiction film, The Andromeda Strain.

According to our friend's at IMDB.com, here's the plot summary:

​"Top scientists work feverishly in a secret, state-of-the-art laboratory to discover what killed the citizens of a small town and how the deadly contagion can be stopped."
​

If that isn't enough motivation to get you interested, then I'm also happy to share that I've seen this release and give it a pretty enthusiastic review.  Anyone interested in knowing my thoughts on both the film and its collection of extras can check out my two cents right here.

As always, thanks for reading ... thanks for sharing ... thanks for being a fan ... and live long and prosper!

-- EZ
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So many movies ... so little time ...

On this day in 1984 (in France), audiences of the Cannes Film Festival were treated to the original bloody premiere of Silent Madness.  Written (in part) and directed by Simon Nuchtern, the Horror/Thriller starred Belinda Montgomery, Viveca Lindfors, Solly Marx, and others. 

According to our friends at IMDB.com, here's the plot summary:

"A criminally-insane man is accidentally released from a mental hospital. The staff tries to cover it up, but a young psychiatrist travels to the college town where he committed several murders to warn the locals and await his arrival."

-- EZ
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So many movies ... so little time ...

On this day in 2001 (in France), audiences of the Cannes Film Festival were treated to the theatrical premiere of CQ.  Written and directed by the screen by Roman Coppola, the SciFi/Comedy starred Jeremy Davies, Angela Lindvall, Elodie Bouchez, and others. 

According to our friends at IMDB.com, here's the plot summary:

"A young filmmaker in 1960s Paris juggles directing a cheesy sci-fi debacle, directing his own personal art film, coping with his crumbling relationship with his girlfriend, and realizing that he's infatuated with the sci-fi film's starlet."

-- EZ

So many movies ... so little time ...

On this day in 2018 (in France), audiences of the Cannes Film Festival were treated to the exclusive theatrical premiere of Fahrenheit 451.  Ramin Bahrani both directed and adapted (in part) the Ray Bradbury novel for the project, and it starred Michael B. Jordan, Michael Shannon, Cindy Katz, and others.  According to our friends at IMDB.com, here's the plot summary:

"In a terrifying care-free future, a young man, Guy Montag, whose job as a fireman is to burn all books, questions his actions after meeting a young woman - and begins to rebel against society."

For the record:

• At the 2018 Primetime Emmy Awards, Fahrenheit 451 received five nominations in the categories of  'Outstanding Cinematography for a Limited Series or Movie,' 'Outstanding Fantasy/SciFi Costumes,' 'Outstanding Sound Editing For A Limited Series, Movie, Or Special,' 'Outstanding Sound Mixing For A Limited Series Or Movie,' and 'Outstanding Television Movie.'
• At the 2019 Saturn Awards, the project received a nomination in the category of 'Best DVD/Blu-ray Release.'

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-- EZ
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